Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 16

With Christmas now in the rear view mirror, this introduction could easily qualify as a "Plus/Minus Take of the Week".  The plus: football fanatics everywhere were treated to a Christmas Eve full of football; it was like being able to open presents at midnight instead of waiting until 9 a.m. long after Santa done crawled his dusty behind back up with milk in his mustache and Christmas cookie crumbs in his beard.  The minus: although they had two pivotal division matchups with playoff implications--one being in prime time--they had to sacrifice most of Christmas Day to the NBA.  Either way, outside of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and spending time with family and friends, there aren't too many other things I'd rather do than watch football on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  For some teams--as well as some coaches and GMs who will get their pink slips before Black Monday--jolly old St. Nick had lumps of coal.  However, if you were like the first team featured in this week's edition, then you felt like you got straight As and minded your manners at the 11th hour...

Scribbler's Shameless Plug of the Month: "The Grinch Part 2"

When Gladiator, Ransom Rellic and my alter ego twin A.J. Throwback got together the first time around for "The Grinch...A Christmas Story" back in 2010, it was a zany ride passing the mic from a grumpy grinch with some perspective to the cooler head prevailing to the co-signing misfit encouraging the grinch's behavior with some mischief of his own.  Fast forward six years later and the trio is back at it again with a sequel which could've easily made the soundtrack to Office Christmas Party, abandoning any form of "good tidings" for an even crazier set of strategically-placed-mistletoe-and-spiked-eggnog-ready tales.  To stream and/or download "The Grinch Part 2", please visit https://ajthrowback.bandcamp.com/track/the-grinch-part-2.  If you like or love what you hear, then PLEASE share your thoughts in the comments and PLEASE spread the word!  Thanks to everybody for your support in advance!!!

Scribbler's Rave & Favorite Five: Christmas Day Special Music Edition

Once the Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches subsided, I cared about one thing: when would I hear that first Christmas song to make the holiday season official?  What I'm about to say is guaranteed to both validate and increase the amount of gray hairs in my goatee: today's generation is missing out when it comes to Christmas music.  Not only is most of the new stuff often swaggerless retreads of classics, but you darn near have to wait until Christmas Day to hear the radio play anything seasonal and it seems like only the adult contemporary stations play Christmas music at least most of the day.  Although I was more excited to wake up early in the morning to open presents with Big Little Brother Scribbler, one of the greatest joys of Christmas was tuning into WHUR 96.3 FM and hearing Christmas music from sunup to sundown while having some memorable moments with the fam.  So in the spirit of the season--and because I haven't done a new edition of this series for two months now--allow me to share five songs I must hear to feel like the Christmas season has arrived decked with boughs of holly, sleigh bells and inappropriate mistletoe placements...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 15

Jeff Fisher can credit himself with starting a trend: when you're an average or putrid head coach, teams aren't waiting until the end of the season to relieve you of your duties.  If any of my fellow football fanatics think or feel anything like I do--especially if your name is Eric Dickerson--then you were thrilled at the news early last week of the Rams cutting ties with Mr. "7-9 Bullsh*t".  In five long and painful years, Fisher amassed a grand total of 31 wins, 45 losses and one tie and not one of those seasons was above .500.  In fact, with a lifetime record of 173-165-1 (.512) and without a winning season since 2008, he had the opportunity to break the all-time record for losses held by Dan Reeves (190-165-2, .535) had he stayed one more week in the position because the Rams lost that game, too.  (Surprise, surprise.)  Despite helping to build a reputable defense with Aaron Donald, Michael Brockers, Alec Ogletree and Robert Quinn, the Rams have trotted out one of the most putrid offensive units over the past five years--being no better than 23rd, residing in the bottom five for four years straight, being the worst offense since last year and averaging 18.3 PPG during his tenure.  Perhaps NewsOne Now's Roland Martin kept it the most candid:  "If y'all wanna understand White privilege, how does Jeff Fisher still have a job?  He's had six winning seasons in like 22 years...they gave him a two-year extension, and how does he reward them?  They go out there and get blown out 42-0!"  Speaking of blown...

Stand Your Ground...But Not If Your Black: Race, Road Rage and Criminal "Justice"

I honestly had no plan to write about the tragic shooting death of former New York Jets and Kansas City Chiefs running back Joe McKnight in Terrytown, Louisiana by 54-year-old Ronald Gasser.  In fact, once my fellow writer and friend at Evenin' Tea did this excellent piece, I assumed my thoughts were all covered.  According to several eyewitness accounts, McKnight got out of his vehicle and tried apologizing to Gasser before Gasser pulled out a semi-automatic handgun and shooting the former NFL player multiple times--including one witness who said Gasser stood over McKnight after he shot him, said "I told you not to f--k with me" and shot him again.  He waited for the police to arrive, was arrested and then released.  That's right, boys and girls...not held with or without a bond...set free after murdering someone.  Perhaps an even bigger umbrella to the obvious race factor and what drove me to write about this incident is the controversial "Stand Your Ground Law" and how this could potentially be a defense for Gasser as his case moves forward.  However, I will discuss how this law seems to apply to anyone who isn't Black and how it could be a smack in the face to McKnight's family and his memory as they seek some semblance of justice...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 13

When doing this week's edition of "Views from the Nosebleeds", the natural choice of a lead story was last week's senseless murder of former Jets running back Joe McKnight in an alleged road rage incident with 54-year-old Ronald Gasser at an intersection in Terrytown, Louisiana right outside of New Orleans.  However, because of the racial, social and political layers involved, I decided to make that a post unto itself.  Furthermore, as a Black man in America whose spirit has grown weary from constantly being reminded the lives and memories of people who look like me don't matter--see the mistrial in the Walter Scott case as further evidence--I have too much frustration in my heart to take away from what is intended to be a half-serious, half-light-hearted series about my favorite sport.  Since these posts are already long enough on their own, there is plenty of good and not-so-good football to discuss, so let's kick things off with two not-so-good, but-not-as-heavy stories...

Scribbler's "Get Out of My Brain!" Countdown of the Month (December 2016)

So here are three things to note about this month's edition of the "'Get Out of My Brain!' Countdown of the Month".  First and foremost, given the lack of girl power on the November edition of "In Heavy Rotation", I apologize to the ladies and don't want y'all to think I'm slighting y'all one bit; however, the songs which rule my brain space unfortunately control me and not the other way around.  Trust me, y'all will be better represented later this month.  Second, I have developed a more-exact-but-still-inexact science for tracking all of this: I simply note the amount of times a song comes to mind and about how long I'm thinking about it.  It ain't perfect, but it's a much better system to make sure folks don't get cheated out of the opportunity to make this countdown like no other.  (I doubt most of these folks care that much, but still.)  Third, this edition will feature songs either belonging to "The Blame Game" in which I blame specific people and/or things for my mental repetitiveness, "NPT HitstoryMakers" for artists and songs who and which boldly go where no others have gone before or stand on their own two category-less feet.  Since you have been prepared and briefed probably more than you wanted to be, let's get to the madness...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 12

Although I looked forward to family coming from Pennsylvania and enjoying Mrs. Scribbler's scrumptuous cooking, one of the biggest incentives to toiling through purchasing a car note's worth of food and almost passing out from heat and exhaustion while grocery shopping was being the stereotypical patriarch and watching Thanksgiving Day football all day long.  However, despite not being a card-carrying Skins fan anymore but still having plenty of residual Burgundy and Gold blood running through me, "Dallas Week" still annoyed me because normally-grating Cowboys fans become even more insufferable--especially when their team is not only winning this year, but also have the league's best record.  In fact, I was bewildered in finding out three of my family members are Cowboys fans, but they're the less obnoxious types who I can tolerate more than the vast majority of them.  (I still need holy oil for our doorpost.)  Unfortunately, I swear I heard a janitor once the clock struck triple zeros, saw an "F" by the score and I wasn't pleased--knowing the onslaught of incessant trash talking was on the horizon in what hasn't felt like a true rivalry since the early 90s. As much as I could stall, let's address the inevitable...

In Heavy Rotation (November 2016)

What I've come to appreciate about doing "In Heavy Rotation" is how I can go into a month planning to listen to one set of five albums.  However, between putting off giving my take on certain projects, being pleasantly surprised when others are released, watching TV and getting ideas for picks or hanging around folks whose musical palates exceed their foodie tendencies, it forces me as an avid music lover and constantly-evolving human being to 1) always remain open to change and 2) adapt to said change as deemed necessary.  Also, I've learned to go with the flow, i.e., instead of trying so hard to ensure I have a balanced representation of hip hop and rock, male and female artists or Black folks and everybody else, simply share what speaks the most to me in that particular month.  After all, it is my blog series, so that means I don't always follow the rules--even when I set them myself.  With that said, it's time to unveil some of this good music I've been bumping...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS (Vol. 1, No. 15)

In this "TV Rots Your Brain" Edition of "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!", we begin with the unfortunate failure of political agendas in children's programming.  Allow me to start off by saying this: PBS Kids' Peg + Cat wins on its own merit as being one of the best educational cartoons in the game, especially when they pay homage to a legendary singer like Billie Holiday or celebrate renowned talent of the modern era like ballet dancer Misty Copeland.  When the two-part "Peg and Cat Save the World" episode premiered in March, they continued that theme of empowerment by featuring a woman President, voiced by Sandra Oh.  Perhaps the thought was 1) it's been high time for a woman to be POTUS and 2) judging from the pool of qualified candidates at that time, Secretary Hillary Clinton seemed to have the best shot at winning the Oval Office and they wanted to endorse her without official bumper stickers and lawn signs.  (Whole time, she's even wearing a pantsuit.)  Unfortunately, young ladies who were sure such a prediction would come true, especially because Peg + Cat said so, will have to wait at least another four years.  Nice try, Jennifer Oxley and Billy Aronson...too bad most of the South which contains a large share of the country's racists and sexists didn't take heed to your animated memo.  Perhaps the perfect segue for the first segment...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 11

Although I had to correct Big Dadi Scribbler on a few historical facts--he thought the Browns played in the NFC at some point since the AFL-NFL merger when they've always been in the AFC--I had an intriguing conversation with him about old school football.  As a football, softball and track and field star for Coolidge High School in Northwest D.C., one of the things he noted was how rough defensive backs were against receivers--so much that one of the biggest reasons wideouts would get alligator arms was because of the ferocious hand checking before a lot of the illegal contact rules were imposed.  In fact, he started off as a receiver before making the transition to defense, a welcomed change in which he inflicted the same abuse on opposing receivers he endured on offense.  However, perhaps the most interesting facts I never knew about my dad when constantly hearing how legendary he was as an athlete was he was also a kicker and a punter, forcing several touchbacks on kickoffs and leading the league in net punting average one season.  Considering Week 11's struggle kicking as eleven misfires led to the most amount of failed extra points in a week since 1966, I'm sure several teams would've loved to have a sure-footed boot like the Scribbler patriarch.  Now that I've done at least two or three shameless plugs for dear old dad in one calendar year, let's discuss some new school football...

Exceeding Dreams and Expectations: Remembering Gwen Ifill

As an aspiring journalist in the mid to late 90s, I had my fair share of role models.  However, whenever I saw Gwen Ifill on NBC during her days as a Capitol Hill correspondent, I was always glued to the television and said to myself, "Now this is someone who knows what she's talking about...and she's a sista!"  So when I heard the news of her succumbing to endometrial cancer and passing at the age of 61 last Monday, I felt alone in my shock for three main reasons: 1) I didn't know she was battling illness; 2) 2016 has been a year filled with several impactful losses, so this was yet another one which hurt; and 3) I was sitting in a cubicle with someone who neither had a clue as to who she was nor the impact she left here in Washington as one of the most elite and revered political writers, reporters and moderators of our time.  Hence, it was only right for me to pay tribute to an indisputable trail blazer in print and broadcast journalism--especially for folks who look like me seeking to thrive in an industry where we are nowhere near the majority...

1350 Okie Doke Street: Five Overrated Food Chains and Menu Items

Surprisingly, I didn't ruffle as many feathers with last month's edition of "1350 Okie Doke Street" as expected.  When it comes to five of the most classic and/or discussed hip hop albums of the past 25 years, either more people respect difference in opinion than for which I give them credit, more people agree with me than expected or people simply weren't checking for me that day.  Either way, I ain't mad and I'll move on to one of my favorite subjects and the thing on which I've spent way too much money in my lifetime: food.  (I could've easily said women, but food has always been around.  The ladies are ji late to the Dirk Scribbler Is Totally Awesome Extravaganza.)  However, if the way to a man or woman's heart is through his or her stomach, then I'm about to give some folks coronary artery disease after this edition.  As I go through five of the most overrated franchise restaurants, fast food chains and/or particular items on their menus, I run the risk of watching my like count and number of followers decrease in five...four...three...two...one...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 10

Frankly, I don't show frequent love to NFL place kickers because, like many football fanatics, I tend not to regard them as "real" football players.  I often hate how a game can swing on the foot of a guy who only comes out for kickoffs, extra points and field goals--especially with the tough year kickers are having since the extra point extension to the 15-yard line last season.  Well, if you ask Chiefs play-by-play announcer Mitch Holthus--who has long been one of my favorite radio network announcers--Cairo Santos might as well have been Moses, King David and Jesus Christ rolled into one.  When their visit to Carolina was primed for overtime tied at 17, Panthers receiver Kelvin Benjamin handed Marcus Peters and the Chiefs' opportunistic defense an early Christmas present via a fumble on Carolina's 24-yard line with only 20 seconds remaining in regulation.  As Santos nailed the first walk-off of his career, Holthus' call was one for the ages:

This would be the biggest kick for Santos...and all of Brazil holds its breath...17-17...it's now four seconds they're saying left in the game...ball in the center of the field...on a 37-yard attempt...placement is down...Santos' kick...he lines it up AND THAT BABY IS RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE!  É SULCÉ É BOA!  É SULCÉ É BOA!  AND ALL OF BRAZIL AND THE CHIEFS KINGDOM REJOICES WITH AN INCREDIBLE, IMPROBABLE VICTORY ON THE ROAD!

First and foremost, thank God I kept my TuneIn Premium subscription because I wouldn't have located this audio otherwise.  Second, when I do something even remotely as amazing as that, I need Mitch Holthus on speed dial and speaking Portuguese is purely optional   Third, that's the best radio call I've heard since 98.5 The Hub color analyst Scott Zolak gave us, "BRADY'S BACK!  THAT'S YOUR QUARTERBACK!  WHO LEFT THE BUILDING?!?!  UNICORNS!  SHOW PONIES!  WHERE'S THE BEEF?!?!"  With that, fellow pigskin enthusiasts, let's recap Week 10...

Five Reasons You Should Dump a Woman Voting for Trump IMMEDIATELY

Because you earned your Master of Arts in Procrastination and Pussyfooting, you made the cutoff for voting, are still waiting in line and reading this blog to pass the time.  As you begin to ponder your life choices, your contemplation takes you to the current lady in your life.  While having a car salesman "ah yes, isn't she a beauty" moment, you're confronted with this reality: "Oh snap...my woman is voting for Donald Trump!!!"  Fellas, if this is your predicament, then stop everything you're doing and drop her like Jordan Matthews and Dorian Green-Beckham drop passes.  Been pining after her and finally got her number?  Delete it.  Got through your 90-day probationary period and finally about to get some?  Cancel your next date.  Currently engaged?  Call off the wedding and take that financial hit.  At the altar as we speak?  Run like the Dickerson and duck every punch from her father, her brother(s), her uncle(s), her male friend(s) and whoever else wants to knock you the f--k out as if you're asking for your beach cruiser back.  Already married to her with kids?  Let wise words from Usher Raymond be your guide...the kids will understand if you thoroughly explain their mother's incurable insanity.  Not convinced you should roll?  I have compiled five of the best reasons why you cannot and should not be with a woman who is seriously backing Donald Trump in the most critical election in our country's history...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 9

In another superb sports week, everyone else took a back seat to Major League Baseball and perhaps the best Game 7 in a World Series of all time.  Storming back from three games down, the Chicago Cubs broke their 108-yard curse with a thrilling 8-6 win over the Cleveland Indians, who now have the longest championship drought in baseball and the second longest drought in pro sports behind the Chicago/St. Louis/Phoenix/Arizona Cardinals NFL franchise.  Perhaps the next most interesting storyline was the long-awaited matchup between former teammates Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook in which KD's new team won convincingly over his old team, 122-96, and the 2014 MVP chipped in 39 points including seven three pointers.  Outside of Bill Belichick shipping Jamie Collins to the now 0-9 Browns, the biggest NFL news was the sudden departure of Vikings offensive coordinator Norv Turner, who had to contend with a change in direction of the offense reportedly including Pat Shurmur and Tony Sparano--two former NFL head coaches.  So while pro football wasn't king of the hill this week, the midway point of the 2016 season is  intriguing nonetheless as we'll see contenders and pretenders rise and fall...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 8

If you're an avid sports fan, then this was your week.  Beginning of the World Series between the two franchises with the longest World Series championship droughts in the Cubs and Indians.  Beginning of the 2016-17 NBA regular season, which saw a loaded Warriors squad get their lunch money taken by the Tim Duncan-less Spurs to the tune of 129-100.  While very few people I know are checking for NHL action this early in the season, football nearly took a back seat in the midst of a smorgasbord of intriguing sports options until a Saturday night thriller in Tallahassee with No. 3 Clemson outlasting (now) No. 19 Florida State, 37-34.  Not to mention Fox being the beneficiary of a quadruple-header on Sunday between three back-to-back NFL contests and a do-or-die Game 5 of the World Series for the Cubs.  So during a weekend which featured eight games decided by eight points or less, three overtime games and the first consecutive weeks of back-to-back ties since Weeks 12 and 13 of the 1997 season, there was a lot to love and hate about Week 8...

Scribbler's "Get Out of My Brain!" Countdown of the Month (November 2016)

With so much on my mind during the month of October, music was the John Stockton to my Karl Malone of adversity and dished a much needed assist.  For a while, most of the songs which made the list at the beginning of the month seemed like they would prevail.  Alexander O'Neal tried to do like his entry attempt and "Hang On" by virtue of The Original Quiet Storm nostalgia and a "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!" post.  Composer Vangelis' "Love Theme" from Blade Runner possessed more sparkle within the song than its possibility of withstanding the challenge from its future competitors.  George Benson tried to sneak in a second entry (spoiler alert) with "Turn Your Love Around," but couldn't reverse his fortune.  With appearances in commercials and made-for-TV biopics, Chance The Rapper and Michel'le both had late pushes with "No Problems" (featuring Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz) and "Something in My Heart", respectively.  However, with the passing of a legendary producer, songwriter, musician and singer as well as brand new music surfacing, it created the following playlist inside of my head which ended up more like a predominantly 80s version of Black Music Month...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 14)

No...you cannot avoid one of these posts without me either talking about D.C. Metro, food or Baby Boy Scribbler's favorite cartoons.  Deal with it, slugger.  Anyway, on perhaps his favorite show, Sprout's Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and Dave, I find it interesting how the red beagle and the yellow chick's names are onomatopoeias.  (Y'all don't know how long I've been waiting to use that word in a blog post...hype!)  I'm sure it goes a long way in helping developing young viewers make the connection between these animals and their associate sounds, but what about Dave the Blue Panda?  Granted, his name is simple to remember and pandas don't make a distinct sound, but why Dave?  Was something like Rodney a little too "urban"?  (Then again, the name Rodney always makes me think of Sommore's set from The Queens of Comedy and some brother coming on a woman's porch uninvited, climbing through her window and trying to choke her.  Hilarious in a comedy routine, but given that info, probably a good call not choosing Rodney.)  Furthermore, why is Dave always the first one to fall asleep after every adventure?  Does he tire himself out with all of his "Blue Panda Ideas" and/or get the itis after eating all of those bananas?  Memo to Tony Collingwood: I need answers, bruh...I need answers.  Now that y'all have been treated to another spiel about a cartoon you probably hadn't heard of until today, let's get to the main attractions...

In Heavy Rotation (October 2016)

When you take a month off from one of your most popular series, things can change without fair warning.  What was supposed to be the September edition was on the verge of being a "Late AF Post of the Week" anyway and, to be honest, I wasn't extremely pumped to write it in the first place.  However, a family tragedy ended up being less of an obstacle and more of a blessing as skipping my birth month's edition made way for newer and disputably better music to surface and allowed me as a music lover to stay true to the spirit of this series.  Long story short, only two of the original albums in my rotation for September remained on the list for October while the other three were pushed back for the last two posts for 2016.  Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if the next two months give me even better albums to listen to and those other projects get bumped altogether.  So since you didn't come here for lengthy backstories and stall tactics, I apologize to the most faithful supporters of "In Heavy Rotation" and bring you the long-awaited good part...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 7

As evidenced from last week's edition of "Views from the Nosebleeds", the "meantime in between time" leading into Week 6 had more compelling storylines.  However, coming into Week 7, the most interesting story was Stephen A. Smith's diatribe of Washington's NFL team.  Although the fellow Libra has been on my nerves for the past year or so for a plethora of reasons, I agreed wholeheartedly with him laying into the pride of Landover for being so arrogant in somehow thinking they arrived because they beat the Eagles for a fourth straight time, especially since they had a road trip date to face a quarterback who they've never beaten.  Outside of that, all was quiet on the Western front and I initially had to reach for this week's "Plus/Minus Take of the Week", which was originally about all of the key injuries piling up around the league.  However, once an unexpected development occurred in South Florida yesterday, it completely changed the tide.  Sometimes, you have to be patient and wait for the story, even if it's last minute.  Let's waste no more time, folks...

Scribbler's Rave & Favorite Five Special Edition: A Tribute to Thomas Mikal Ford

When the initial rumors circulated about Thomas Mikal Ford passing away last Wednesday afternoon, one of my favorite Facebook friends poignantly noted, "If Tommy dies.....2016 just became the most indubitably trash[i]est year of the new millen[n]ium."  Due to a major social media faux pas, it ended up not being true as information surfaced about him still being on life support.  Once we realized that, everybody wanted the brother with the infectious laugh we all know and love as Tommy Strawn a.k.a. Mr. "You Ain't Got No Job, Man" from FOX's hit series Martin to pull through because 1) we want our heroes to live as long as possible and 2) we couldn't take yet another death in 2016.  As I kept checking Facebook for updates, what we all feared unfortunately came to pass as Ford succumbed at the age of 52 after suffering an aneurysm in his abdomen.  So my friend is absolutely right: this year is trash truck juice.  Nevertheless, rather than mourn or be morose over another loss in this year of immense tragedy, I choose to do what we always do here at New Problem Tuesdays: give people roses, even when they're not here to receive them.  Hence, in this special edition of my "Rave & Favorite Five", I'm paying homage to some of Tommy Ford's best moments on one of my favorite TV shows of all time...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 6

One of the things which has helped me to overcome an emotionally trying period of my life outside of music has been football.  It's like the home team knew I was going through it and needed to get excited for my favorite sport in the whole wide world because after starting off terribly at 0-2, they've ripped off four straight wins and at least look like contenders in the NFC East race.  Granted, seeing the Capitals and Nationals flake out in early rounds amidst Stanley Cup and World Series talk, respectively, doesn't give me much hope for their playoff aspirations, but the turnaround is good nonetheless.  I'm frankly happy the NFC East is not the "NFC Least" as it had been for the past several years as no team is under .500, making every win absolutely critical.  I'm so pumped about the NFC East's comeback that, although I was cheering for the Packers to beat the Cowboys, it's hard to knock two rookies as impressive as Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott; heck, I marveled at many of the throws Carson Wentz made and he was making them against the home team!  While many of the overall matchups throughout the league aren't always alluring from week to week, it's still not an all-out blah fest and Week 6 continued that trend...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS (Vol. 1, No. 13)

If you rode behind a truck which said "Follow me to your perfect paint color" on your way out of town, what would be your first set of thoughts?  Well, as I inadvertently followed this True Value tractor trailer on I-495 through the wonderful city of Wilmington, Delaware, my vivid imagination took a dark turn.  Instead of perhaps some jovial gentleman being armed with paintball gear and taking you to the time of your life--which I literally thought as I began typing this intro--it's some poor soul with an axe to grind with both his company as well as his wife who he believes is cheating on him because he's always on the road.  You decide to follow him without knowing his rig is actually a front for his paint bootlegging business.  He leads you down a secluded alley in a sketchy neighborhood to meet a few unsavory characters.  While the deal is going down, your inability to be incognito in life-or-death situations spells your demise as you are spotted by the truck driver.  He thinks it's a setup, pulls out a pistol and shoots in your direction.  If you didn't high tail it out of there like you were playing Need for Speed, then you would've found out the "perfect color" he was leading you to was crimson.  Moral of the story (and with my DIRECTV voice-over narrator swagger): don't follow anyone to your perfect paint color.  Get the Sherwin Williams app instead.  Now that you're creeped out, let's fly into some safer havens...

1350 Okie Doke Street: Five Overrated Hip Hop Albums

Being a Libra often means one thing: I prefer harmony and avoid confrontation like the plague--often to a fault.  However, being the man Big Dadi Scribbler helped to raise also means I have no problem defending my position if that's what I believe wholeheartedly.  Besides, when you've gone a significant portion of your life flying under the radar, having the occasional unpopular opinion is light work.  With that said, the inspiration for this new posting series came from one of those "one gotta go" memes featuring Sade, Erykah Badu, Beyonce and Lauryn Hill.  Mrs. Scribbler and I talked about how people often make those memes to target a certain artist they feel is overrated, i.e., it's always Beyonce who takes that "L".  However, I have been in some of the most virulent arguments over everything from hip hop needing to be a form of "edutainment" to what makes a quarterback "elite" to anything regarding the Dallas Cowboys to...well...Beyonce.  So as an ode to the now defunct Dream turned Love Nightclub--which was more hype than actual dope, especially since I once had to beg a DJ to play go-go music in a nightclub in D.C.--I welcome you all to the grand opening of "1350 Okie Doke Street" where "controversy create conversation".  First up: I present five hip hop albums which I love, like or tolerate, but believe have been vastly overrated.  Preparing to lose friends and followers in five...four...three...two...one...

Scribbler's Rave & Favorite Five Special Edition: A Tribute to Rod Temperton

Whenever Party City runs their annual Happy Halloween advertisements featuring "Thriller", the man responsible for the original musical arrangement and lyrics to one of pop's most iconic songs is Rod Temperton.  When I heard about him succumbing to a battle with cancer weeks before his 67th birthday, I was befuddled after I was singing Temperton's praises for his work with Quincy Jones on Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album a day before hearing of his death.  He was part of the reason why I was excited to get a copy of the Thriller album because the liner notes put me front and center with his genius.  Making his claim to fame as the keyboardist and songwriter for British R&B band Heatwave, Temperton's pen has part of hits like "Stomp!" by The Brothers Johnson, "Baby, Come to Me" by Patti Austin with James Ingram, "Yah Mo B There" by James Ingram featuring Michael McDonald, the Oscar-nominated "Miss Celie's Blues" from The Color Purple (co-written with Jones and Lionel Richie) and the original lyrics for "You Put a Move on My Heart" by Quincy Jones featuring Tamia (originally recorded by Mica Paris in 1993). The rest of his impressive resume includes work for Rufus, Bob James, Herbie Hancock, Klymaxx, Jeffrey Osborne, Aretha Franklin, The Manhattan Transfer, Siedah Garrett and Stephanie Mills.  So although 2016 continues to be the worst year ever, New Problem Tuesdays takes this opportunity to do what we've done all year long: celebrate the best from our fallen heroes.  If you knew nothing about "The Invisible Man" before, then get ready to sing along...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 5

Whoever scheduled Game 2 of the NLDS matchup between the Dodgers and my hometown  Nationals for a 1:08 p.m. pitch was trying it.  First and foremost, didn't they know it's football season?  Second, and more important, didn't they know the Battle of the Beltway between Washington's NFL team and the Ravens was also kicking off at 1 o'clock?  Third, why would they torture a hardcore football fan like me by forcing me to flip between FOX, NFL RedZone and FS1?!?!  It's bad enough when I have to estimate how long commercials breaks last when I'm flipping back and forth between FOX and NFL RedZone, but throwing a third channel in the mix is overkill.  Thank God the NFL games were all at halftime when catcher Jose Lobaton hit a three-run homer to give the Nats their first lead of the series.  Bottom line, although the sports fan in me loves the smorgasbord, I like my helpings to be more balanced.  Do better, MLB...do better.  Now that my bellyaching is out of the way and after needing a bye week for personal reasons, let's get to my long-awaited takes...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 12)

Have you ever had a hankering for food and watching TV or going on social media only intensified your cravings?!?!  Because I worked on Labor Day, I missed my last opportunity for a summer cookout--not like I was invited to any cookouts, but still--and had a taste for some BBQ ribs.  Of course, what was one of the first pictures I see on Facebook from somebody's cookout?  That's right: a delicious looking slab of BBQ ribs sprawled across the grill--and the brother looked like he knew what he was doing.  Add insult to injury, I DVR'd both General Hospital and Atlanta, watched them two days later and what did both episodes feature??  What else...ribs.  In fact, they didn't even show the ribs on GH; all they had to do was mention ribs and I was ready to head to Port Charles.  Sadly, it took me nearly three weeks to satisfy the basic craving and nearly a month to get a super-tasty half rack of baby back ribs.  (MORE RANDOMNESS: as I typed that, I thought of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers in Goldmember singing, "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...ribs."  You did, too.  Admit it.)  As long as I don't have to see anybody post pictures of sushi anytime soon, then I'll manage with that craving for another week before I have to buckle down for a Volcano Roll.  Now that I've made your mouth water--which is becoming the new theme over D.C. Metro and PBS Kids--let's get to the madness...

For Black People Who Think Voting Is Pointless, Part 2: The Fastidious and the Furious

In the past week since posting Part 1 of "For Black People Who Think Voting Is Pointless", I have witnessed exactly how important this upcoming election is to a lot of people.  Not only was the first part one of the most popular posts in New Problem Tuesdays history, but more important, the post garnered the most amount of meaningful engagement and discussion--much of it making cases for either Democratic candidate Hillary Trump or Republican candidate Donald Trump.  However, perhaps the post-debate sentiments of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick summarize how many Americans feel, especially within the Black community and among "millennials": "...to me it was embarrassing to watch that these are our two candidates.  Both are proven liars and it almost seems like they're trying to debate who less racist.  At this point, in talking to one of my friends, you have to pick the lesser of two evils, but the end is still evil."  Although Kaep plans on voting regardless, I have witnessed an even bigger surge of Black folks over the past week who are strongly considering not voting in November because of the paltry choices for Commander-in-Chief or their ardent supporters shoving their agendas aggressively down the throats of the undecided.  In the second and final part, I will outline the latter three reasons which note how simply having the power to choose fuels the importance of the Black vote in the most significant election in American history...

Scribbler's Rave & Favorite Five Special Edition: A Tribute to Kashif

When I heard news of the passing of legendary music producer, songwriter, musician and artist Kashif Saleem (born Michael Jones) at the age of 56, I was heartbroken and could only think was, "Another person connected to my youth has died???  Seriously...2016 is the worst year of all time."  It wasn't long ago when TV One profiled him on their critically-acclaimed Unsung series and took us R&B lovers down memory lane from his beginnings with B.T. Express to his unmatched production and songwriting resume to his solo recording career.  So when I was figuring out what my favorite songs of his were, the top three choices were pretty easy.  However, I felt some kind of way leaving out such great songs like the majority of his eponymous debut, "Are You the Woman" (featuring background vocals by two of my favorite artists in Whitney Houston and Lillo Thomas), his remake of Mother's Finest's "Love Changes" with Meli'sa Morgan, "Love the One I'm With (A Lot of Love)" with Melba Moore and arguably the biggest snub in "Love Come Down" by Evelyn "Champagne" King.  Nevertheless, y'all know how my anything-but-typical countdowns work, so let's celebrate some of Kashif's best work New Problem Tuesdays style...

Scribbler's "Get Out of My Brain!" Countdown of the Month (October 2016)

Although I'm not someone who vehemently resists change, my subconscious somehow didn't get that memo.  Out of the ten songs from last month's countdown, five of them have returned for this month's list in their original form while another one has haunted me in an alternative form.  Out of those six songs, the beginning of this month's cycle began with a three-horse race between Ralph Tresvant, Silk and Sherrick for pole position, but if Simone Manuel's historic accomplishment taught us nothing, the initial leaders or favorites don't always win in the end.  (I know...hella dramatic.)  Of course, we always have to talk about the losers.  Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love" greeted me ferociously one morning as I reminisced about the summer of 1990, but she didn't make it past noon.  Even with Jermaine Jackson's "Two Ships" hitting me at two different points of the month, perhaps the waves from the passing ships didn't make enough of a splash in my mind.  "The Love I Lost" by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes harassed me at work for a day or two, but my brain may have lost love for it.  Finally, discussing Babyface's brilliance on the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack immediately brought Mary J. Blige's "Not Gon' Cry" to mind.  However, her awkward rendition of Bruce Springsteen's "American Skin (41 Shots)" to Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton in a promo for her upcoming series on Apple TV, The 411, may have quickly unseated one of my faves from the Queen of Hip Hop Soul from the rotation.  So enough of the rambling about nonentities and on with the cut makers...

For Black People Who Think Voting Is Pointless, Part 1: Voter Suppression

Because there has been so much going on in the past week socially, politically and personally, I didn't realize National Voter Registration Day was today until I watched this morning's broadcast of TV One's NewsOne Now.  (BTW, thank God for Roland Martin because I wouldn't know a significant amount of the information I do without his platform.)  Having this information on the heels of last night's first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton heightened the urgency of this particular post.  I have read and seen the grumblings from many folks within the Black community who are so disappointed in and suspicious of American politics and government that they are threatening to remove themselves from one of the most important aspects of the political process: voting.  Now while the Electoral College has been constitutionally selecting the "leader of the Free World" since President George Washington, Kathleen McCleary gave this breakdown in an April 21 article for Parade: "When you cast your vote for president this November, you're not voting for the candidate on the ballot, you're voting for which group of electors from your state--Republican, Democrat or some third party--get to vote for president."  While I know that does nothing for the skeptics, perhaps this two-part series outlining the six reasons why the Black vote absolutely matters in the most critical election in our country's history will be more convincing.  Specifically, the first three reasons in Part 1 all deal with America's shameful legacy of voter suppression and disenfranchisement...

Scribbler's Rave & Favorite Five: Best...Birthdays...EVER!!!

As a child, September 28th meant something different.  It meant dinner at Red Lobster back when the cheddar bay biscuits weren't the best thing on the menu.  It meant I could go right around the corner, hit up Toys "R" Us I didn't have to wait until Christmas to get those two Decepticon planes that combined to make one big plane.  (I Googled the heck outta that and I still don't know the names of either plane.)  It meant I had an excuse to eat a slice of cake every day for the rest of the week.  As an adult, I care less about presents and more about presence.  If I invite someone to a party or gathering, then I won't ridicule them for walking through the door empty handed as long as they come with a full heart of love and the readiness for whatever.  My birthday might be my personal holiday, but as y'all will see in a very special edition of the "Rave & Favorite Five" to help bring in 37 in a different way, one of the greatest days in human civilization is only as great as the fantastic times with family, friends and loved ones.  So cue the Black folks version of "Happy Birthday", pour a few shots and walk with me down memory lane...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 11)

At one point, I know y'all probably thought this series should be renamed "The WMATA Chronicles" because of my 31-years-and-counting obsession with D.C. Metro.  However, as much children's programming as I've been exposed to over the past two years, maybe I should consider rebranding this "Memoirs of a Pitiful Big Kid".  So remember my edition of "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!" when my crazy brain connected Ramone aka Mr. "I Do What I Can" from PBS Kids' Peg + Cat to Project Pat's "Out There Part 2" skit from his Mista Don't Play - Everythangs Workin album?  Welp, the ignorance has resurfaced once again.  One morning when I was getting ready for work, PBS Kids' "Where in the World Is Hooper?" came on in between shows.  After Hooper the Hamster gave all of his clues per the usual, asked the kids "can you guess where I am" and then said "you guessed it", you probably can deduce which popular "trap" song of the past two years came to mind..."B---h u guessed it...HWAH...u was right."  So it's official: I can't watch PBS Kids without thinking about Project Pat, OG Maco and other ratchet rap songs.  I mean, Hooper does moonlight as a fake-me-out DJ if that means anything at all regarding the connection in my mind between him and rap.  (BTW, saying the words "fake-me-out" gave me an idea for a future random thought, but I digress.)  Let's get on with the rest of this mess...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 3

Frankly, this week's intro to "Views from the Nosebleeds" was going to be a potential snoozer about the NFL's slight decline in ratings.  However, when I saw this picture of Rashad Ross, DeSean Jackson, Niles Paul (one of five team captains) and Greg Toler with their fist raised during the National Anthem before their NFC East matchup with the Giants, I strongly considered becoming a fan of Washington's NFL team again.  In a September 25 Washington Post article, head coach Jay Gruden's "haven't had that issue here" comments were reiterated along with this emphasis on the team's connection to the military: "[The team has] a ton of respect for what goes on for our country with those people.  And for three minutes, for us to take our helmet off and stand up and give respect is how we treat it here with the Redskins."  On the flip side, Ross insisted, "It's nothing against the National Anthem.  It never was against it.  It's about all these killings that's going on that aren't right."  Jackson, who Ross acknowledged as spearheading the move, said this after the game: 

We felt like there's a lot going on out there in our country now.  We feel like we have an opportunity to be seen and be heard.  We just want to support our people in a time of crisis like this where you have a lot of tragic situations, a lot of people losing their family members due to senseless killings by these police officers and things like that.  We just wanted to make a stand, and I think just really putting our fists up and supporting our culture is something important.

Although this is what the NFL's most disliked player in Colin Kaepernick has been trying to communicate to the rest of America for over a month now, I am proud to see more and more brothers--who comprise nearly 69 percent of the NFL's player population--echoing the pertinence of his sentiment and standing in solidarity.  I am more elated to see someone like Jackson--one of the team's most prominent players who once caught flack for his association with gang members back in his hometown of Los Angeles as a member of the Eagles--be a leader and effectively use his platform to help raise awareness of this social epidemic.  I hope they keep it going and contribute in other ways like Kaepernick, but this is a fantastic beginning from a small but passionate fraction of the home team.  Now that's how you introduce a spirited Week 3 in the NFL and the first two topics continue the trend...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 10)

Ever since I first saw "Sweet Love" on Music Video Connection as a youngster, Anita Baker has been in my top 10 favorite R&B singers of all time.  However, in the tradition of greats like Michael Jackson, James Brown and Michael McDonald, she has one "drawback" to her delivery: when she gets excited, her ability to enunciate suffers a bit.  Exhibit A: in the verse following the bridge on her 1990 single "Talk to Me", it always sounded like she was saying "hacienda"; in actuality, she says "across your face".  Right before going into the last round of chorus repetition, I always thought she said "you avoid my rush, you avoid my race, baby" when the factually correct translation is "you avoid my advice, you avoid my embrace, baby".  In all fairness, I don't have the best hearing in the world due to years of listening to music in my headphones nearly at full blast and only grasping the concept of protecting one of my greatest assets within the last decade.  Nevertheless, I know I'm not the only one who has looked at her like, "What the heck did you just say, lady?"  Now that I've graduated summa cum laude from The Big Dadi Scribbler School of Lyric Translation, let's roll with the rest of the nonsense--and trust, I do mean nonsense...

"Love Is a Commitment, Not a Feeling"...Says Who???

Much like my last "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!", another one of those "deep" relationship memes floating around Facebook has struck a nerve with me.  In a picture grid in the particular meme in question, a man is massaging his woman's feet on the left side of the grid and a woman is returning the favor on the right side.  The caption above the grid reads, "Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other."  To this point, I'm wholeheartedly with this sentiment because whether it's your significant other, your friends or those one or two or five family members you want to choke slam from time to time, you must willingly decide to love that person regardless.  However, here's where they lost me: "Love is a commitment, not a feeling".  Let me be clear: I strongly agree with the former part of the quote, but I'm utterly annoyed when people echo the latter because it belittles and dismisses human emotions.  So here are my questions: how do you get to the commitment of loving without the feeling that makes you want to love and commit, and doesn't love encompass both feelings and commitments?  Well, let's try to answer these burning inquiries from several perspectives, shall we...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Regular Season, Week 2

I came into Week 2 of NFL regular season action on a high from a solid Saturday in NCAA football.  Although all three of my favorite teams won big--including Michigan storming back from being down 14 points in the first quarter at home to beat Colorado 45-28--my favorite game of the day was between two unranked teams, Maryland vs. Central Florida.  After UCF QB McKenzie Milton lost his third fumble of the game in the second overtime in a tie game at 24, Maryland freshman QB Tyrrell Pigrome had the daunting task of filling in for the injured Perry Hills.  However, there are few plays better in someone's first snap than to get a 24-yard TD run to win the game 30-24 in double OT and push your team under your first-year head coach DJ Durkin to 3-0.  Yeah...seeing another one of my favorite college football teams win in dramatic fashion definitely got me ready for football on Sunday.  So enough about the kids and let's talk about the grown man's game...

Calling a Spade a Spade: The Assassination of Darren Seals

When I first heard the news of the death of 29-year-old activist Darren Seals, I was mortified for two main reasons.  First, the manner in which he was killed--suffering a gunshot wound before his vehicle was set on fire--sent chills through my spirit.  Second, those chills recalled the cold-blooded murders of Mississippi civil rights workers James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner and how I'm sure Black people and sympathizers in 2016 feel the same way about another Black man meeting a horrible fate amidst racial injustice and social unrest as folks in the 1960s did about those particular deaths.  However, in lieu of using safe, politically-correct terms like "killing" or "murder", very few people will admit this was a treacherously heinous act committed against someone who was adamant about not only improving and fighting for his community, but also challenging a historically-racist police force.  Hence, I am calling the demise of Darren Seals exactly what I believe it is in my heart of hearts: a premeditated assassination...

Lessons for Life: Placing the Loss of a Teacher to 9/11 in Perspective

Even watching NFL kickoff weekend and seeing tributes around the league, I had no plans to write anything extensive to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the September 11th attacks of the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.  However, when I watched the "September 11th" episode of NFL Network's The Timeline, the recollections of that dark and fateful day in American history stirred up emotions I repressed for years.  Although seeing the video of the two planes strike the Twin Towers brought back memories of being awakened out of my sound sleep to witness the horror only 166 miles down Interstate 87 from where I was, it was the sight of the Pentagon that sent the biggest chill through my spirit because it was more personal for me.  On her way to a National Geographic field trip in California, Hilda Taylor, a sixth grade teacher at Madeleine V. Leckie Elementary School in Southwest D.C., lost her life along with her 11-year-old student Bernard Brown II on American Airlines Flight 77 ten years after my last days as a student there.  When Momma Scribbler--a teacher's aide at Leckie for 13 years--shared the news with me, I was absolutely stunned and heartbroken that the teacher who helped to guide the trajectory of my academic career the most was no longer here.  So in an effort to finally address my sentiments about 9/11, I dedicate this to one of my favorite teachers...

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 9)

So let me tell y'all how much of a guy I am and why a GIF of Eddie Murphy making funny faces from Delirious opens up this round of "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!"  Other than his joke about his Aunt Bunny falling down the stairs, his "Fart Game" spiel is exceptionally hilarious because it's irrefutably true--especially among men.  While waiting in vain for Mrs. Scribbler to straighten out her license situation at the White Oak MVA, I'm in the bathroom taking a leak.  Suddenly, someone's rips off a nice, long fart that sounds like an out-of-tune member of the Phoenix Horns.  The kid in me giggled while the man in me wanted not only to "grade the fart" like Murphy suggested, but also to say to the dude, "Good job, bruh!"  However, since I didn't know whether the person in that stall was from this country or not considering White Oak is culturally diverse like much of the rest of Silver Spring, I didn't wanna be weirder than I already was for being proud of his achievement in flatulence.  Now that you've had all the TMI/"gas pump" stories you can handle for one day, let's use that low-octane fuel to power us through the rest of today's madness...