Tuesday, August 16, 2016

RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 8)



One of my favorite shows to watch with Baby Boy Scribbler is PBS Kids' Peg + Cat.  However, there are days when the show can be called Everybody Loves Ramone because the young brother is so helpful to everyone and always returns a thank you with "I do what I can".  So as I'm watching the "I Do What I Can: The Musical!" episode, the parent in me watching an innocent celebration for an awesome kid with his son gives way to the 21-year-old "adult" in me beginning his "blunder years" (I explain that theory here in case you care to read a throwback) and loving really ignorant gangsta music.  My twisted brain immediately goes to the "Out There Part 2" skit on Project Pat's Mista Don't Play - Everythangs Workin album where one of the dudes says, "F--k that, boys do what they can, men do what they want!"  Instantly I thought, "Well, Ramone is a boy and not a man yet, so....I'm just sayin'."  Hence, I have managed to ruin the reputation of the coolest character from one of my son's favorite TV program.  Good job, Poppa Scribb...good job.  Considering what social media has been doing to the cast of Arthur lately, I better get to the rest of my "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!" before another fine PBS Kids cartoon get slaughtered...


THE WMATA CHRONICLES, PART 1: HOW THE MIGHTY HAS FALLEN.   I know...I wrote something about D.C. Metro last week and you're probably like, "Bruhhhhhhh...enough already!"  Well, I think most D.C. folks will be able to relate to this particular blurb because it involves how bad Metro has become.  Now I could point to Washington Post article about a scathing 36-page report from the Federal Transit Administration criticizing SafeTrack, but I can see certain things as a rider and long-time WMATA enthusiast.  Having the pleasure of riding on the 7000 series and then seeing one of the old, crusty trains leave Rhode Island Avenue-Brentwood is a far cry from the bells-and-whistles opening ceremony in 1976 at that same station.  I remember taking a preliminary ride through the sparkling new Waterfront, Navy Yard and Anacostia Stations before they officially opened in 1991; now, like any other station that isn't part of the recent Silver Line extension, those three stations are dust bunnies--although not as bad as any of the older stations along the Blue and Orange Lines.  Combine that with a flood at Cleveland Park Station leading to a temporary shut down as well as more fires at Arlington National Cemetery, Capitol South, Federal Center SW and Gallery Place-Chinatown right in the middle of SafeTrack and it doesn't build a ton of confidence in a system that operated more like the No. 1 subway system in the nation instead of masquerading as one.  The only solace for the H.M.G.I.C. is the 7000 series, but it won't mean a hill of beans if I'm on the most gorgeous trains in Metro's 40-year history riding on some janky tracks that could catch fire at will...

THE WMATA CHRONICLES, PART 2: YOUNG AND "IN LOVE".  When I was dating this girl in the tenth grade, Metrorail was a breeding ground for P.D.A.  After our first kiss on a blustery winter night outside of Stadium-Armory, we used to hope that the very last seat across from the conductor's booth would be available as pregame freshness to our lengthy goodbye kisses and then purposely picked the least populated sections of various stations along the Blue and Orange Lines to make out from anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour.  We swore up and down we were in love, would be married by 23 and have kids by 25; needless to say, none of that happened and certainly not with her.  Fast forward 21 years later, I'm on a Red Line train to Shady Grove recently and saw these two teenage couples sitting in that same coveted area.  At first, I was a little annoyed because I wanted to sit there because I enjoy looking out of the rear window like I'm L.B. Jefferies minus the expensive camera and wheelchair.  (BTW...if you've never treated yourself to Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window, then I give you permission to step away from this post, rent and watch it on demand ASAP and return to the post once you get the reference.  Thank me later.)  Once I got past my geekdom, I laughed to myself as I saw these youngins making out like it was going out of style at midnight.  At one point, it went from one couple per two seater to both couples sitting in that last seat with the girls sitting in the boys' laps.  Having a senior moment, all I could do was think, "Ain't nothing like young love.  They don't know any better, but right now, they don't need to because that is better for them." Maybe they'll actually stick to their lofty aspirations, but I'm not holding my breath...


"FOR LIFE!!!" As much as I'm not a fan of Cash Money Records co-CEO Birdman, the dude is prime fodder for a slightly-above-average blogger like me.  During the pilot episode of BET's new series, Mu$ic Moguls, Sir Put Some Respek On My Name is grooming Cash Money artist Jacquees, with whom he appears to be quite enamored--or at least he's acting like it while the cameras are rolling.  In a bonding moment, Jacquees says to Birdman, "For life!  Love ya to death!  To death!"  As soon as he uttered "for life", 
I feel like he unknowingly spelled the end of his association with CMB.  It's always a bad sign when people say "forever" or "for life" especially in the music business because money, egos and nonsense frequently kill seemingly-untouchable relationships.  See anybody from the Bad Boy artist roster who was on Puff Daddy's Forever album.  See the bitter fallout between Jay-Z and Damon Dash--who is also on Mu$ic Moguls along with Birdman, Jermaine Dupri and Snoop Dogg--once the words "it's Roc-A-Fella for life" and "dynasty" were put in the atmosphere; Amil was gone a few years later, Beanie Sigel ended up feuding with Jay and Memphis Bleek...I mean, where the heck has he been?  (I don't know too many people who truly miss him as a rapper, but still...gotta account for folks.)  See Birdman's shady practices that pushed away Juvenile, B.G., Mannie Fresh and his "son" Lil' Wayne, who singlehandedly kept Cash Money relevant until Drake and Nicki Minaj came along.  Maybe this young brother will buck the trend, but I can't help but hear three words in my head: "Happy trails, Jacquees..."

"I'M A GROWN A-- MAN!!!"  Cedric the Entertainer's popularization of the phrase "I'm a grown a--man, dawg" during his set in The Original Kings of Comedy has stood the test of time as it has become that necessary exclamation point when asserting one's adulthood and manhood, particularly among Black men.  On a recent episode of ABC's General Hospital, T.J. Ashford (Tequan Richmond) confronts his mother Jordan (Vinessa Antoine) about overhearing his "uncle" Curtis (Donnell Turner) admit that Shawn Butler (Sean Blakemore) is his father and not her late husband, Tommy.  When she hits him with the "I was trying to protect you" okey doke, he retorts with, "I'm a grown a-- man!"  I chuckled because 1) GH is known inserting certain phrases associated with Black folk whether the person saying the lines is Black, White or otherwise and 2) the hilarity of a young Black man saying that to his mother and living to tell the story, even if she was as wrong as two left shoes for lying to him again.  The most comedic moment, however, came during a conversation with my boss about family and watching our kids grow.  As she was speaking fondly of her two stepsons, she said, "I have to remind myself sometimes that they're not little boys anymore...they're grown a-- men!"  Now allow me to provide some context as to why I burst into uncontrollable laughter in this woman's office: she's a 65-year-old White woman who I had never heard curse before that day; simply put, I wasn't expecting her to say that.  Now if she starts blending Project Pat quotes with Cedric the Entertainer material and saying "F--k that...little boys do what they can, grown a-- men do what they want," then I'll be convinced that she and her husband (who is Black) are growing something else in their garden.  Everybody still loves Ramone though...

I bet dollars to donuts that I'm not the only one with these off-the-wall, sometimes inappropriate thoughts...don't leave me hanging, fellow NPT Super Supporters!  PLEASE drop one, two or a few of your moments in the comments.  Don't forget to return soon for another wild edition of "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!"  (I could guarantee next time around that WMATA will not get mentioned, but I won't.  It's random, remember?!?!)

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