Five Reasons You Should Dump a Woman Voting for Trump IMMEDIATELY

Because you earned your Master of Arts in Procrastination and Pussyfooting, you made the cutoff for voting, are still waiting in line and reading this blog to pass the time.  As you begin to ponder your life choices, your contemplation takes you to the current lady in your life.  While having a car salesman "ah yes, isn't she a beauty" moment, you're confronted with this reality: "Oh snap...my woman is voting for Donald Trump!!!"  Fellas, if this is your predicament, then stop everything you're doing and drop her like Jordan Matthews and Dorian Green-Beckham drop passes.  Been pining after her and finally got her number?  Delete it.  Got through your 90-day probationary period and finally about to get some?  Cancel your next date.  Currently engaged?  Call off the wedding and take that financial hit.  At the altar as we speak?  Run like the Dickerson and duck every punch from her father, her brother(s), her uncle(s), her male friend(s) and whoever else wants to knock you the f--k out as if you're asking for your beach cruiser back.  Already married to her with kids?  Let wise words from Usher Raymond be your guide...the kids will understand if you thoroughly explain their mother's incurable insanity.  Not convinced you should roll?  I have compiled five of the best reasons why you cannot and should not be with a woman who is seriously backing Donald Trump in the most critical election in our country's history...

SHE MIGHT LET A DUDE WITH MONEY, POWER AND RESPECT GRAB HER BY THE P---Y.  Now can I sit on some kind of proverbial high horse and act like I've never engaged in "locker room talk"?  Absolutely not.  I'm a heterosexual man who loves physically attractive women like the next man and I've said plenty about what I'd like to do to certain women.  However, I'm also not ballin' or popular enough to be referred to as "the Dirk" and can say with all certainty I've never insinuated I'd do anything like this excerpt from a taped exchange in 2005 between Donald Trump and former Access Hollywood correspondent and former Today co-host Billy Bush:

I did try and f--k her.  She was married...You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful--I just start kissing them.  It's like a magnet.  Just kiss.  I don't even wait.  And when you're a star, they let you do it.  You can do anything.  Grab them by the p---y.  You can do anything...

Everything about Trump's "boys will be boys" banter is pompous, presumptuous and offensive to any self-respecting woman; in fact, this mentality toward male and female interaction lends itself to society's rape culture.  So for a woman to consciously vote for him after hearing this audio played ad nauseam, there's the possibility she thinks this kind of behavior is acceptable.  In fact, why don't you ask yourself this: how many celebrities, politicians, dignitaries, sugar daddies or men who have simply made her feel like a million bucks off of flattery alone have successfully made moves on her, kissed her or grabbed her by the vajayjay without asking?  Even if she's working with a donut as her answer--which I'm doubting at this juncture--then can you still trust her to resist the advances of someone simply because that man gives her glowing compliments, especially if he's prestigious?  I'll answer that for you: hell no you can't trust her!  Whether it's unaddressed daddy issues, being on the wrong side of an abusive history, being trained to chase rich and powerful men or some other factors, there's the potential for some unsavory activities occurring about which you'll never find out unless some random recording of her shenanigans surfaces eleven years later well after you've rocked her up and knocked her up...

ONLY STRAIGHT UP Gs AND CERTIFIED HOTHEADS HAVE A SHOT AT KEEPING HER.  While on the campaign trail for former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, President Barack Obama summed up Donald Trump's candidacy with this simple sentence: "He is temperamentally unfit to be commander-in-chief."  Let's also not forget this pearl of wisdom from the Democratic POTUS candidate regarding Trump being a potential liability in foreign affairs: "A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man you can trust with nuclear weapons."  While his defensive Twitter rants rival those of Joe Budden and Wale, this misguided in-person response to a protester at a Nevada rally in February is more of a disturbing essence of who he really is:

You know what I hate?  There's a guy totally disruptive, throwing punches, we're not allowed to punch back anymore.  I loved the old days.  You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were at a place like this?  They'd be carried out on a stretcher, folks...I'd like to punch him in the face, I'll tell ya...

Think about it: this is a man running for President...of the United States...of America...North America.  Spewing this type of unprofessional rhetoric (which was also uninformed as the man threw no punches whatsoever) while vying for one of the most dignified positions in the world manifests how he is more of a thug than that man depicted in the inaccurate graphic from that phantom Crime Statistics Bureau in San Francisco he quoted nearly a year ago.

So how does this relate to the woman you're dating who's casting her ballot for The Donald?  Simple: if you're not the "squeeze first, ask questions last" or the "loud as a motorbike" type, then don't be surprised if she's secretly carrying the torch for that guy.  Don't be bewildered because she expects her man to be Mr. I Gotta Fight Every Night to Prove My Love whenever another man even looks in her direction.  Don't be appalled if her co-signing of that brand of reckless and reactionary bravado not only leads to frequent injury or even a loss of life, but also her barely blinking if either casualty of war happens--especially if she comes out unscathed.  Bottom line, the more dangerous he is, the more turned on she is.  Do yourself a favor, slim: either take your cues from Tony Montana--and we see what happened to him at the end of Scarface--or dump that chicken dinner and continue to approach life rationally.  Speaking of logic or a lack thereof...

ARGUING WITH HER WILL ALWAYS BE AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY.  For the first half hour of the final presidential debate, Donald Trump gave staying on message the good old college try.  However, as suggested from Secretary Clinton's quote about his infamous Twitter record, it didn't take long for him to unravel.  Moderator Chris Wallace of Fox News asked Trump if he would accept the results of the election and the presidential hopeful gave this unprecedented and baffling response regarding the "peaceful transition of power": I will look at it at the time.  I'm not looking at anything now...what I've seen...is so bad...what I'm saying is I will tell you at the time.  I'll keep you in suspense."  This was all the ammunition Secretary Clinton needed as she ridiculed every last one of his "rigged" claims from the election process to not receiving an Emmy and baited him into what he does best: deflect, interrupt, throw gratuitous pot shots during many of those interruptions and fail to give direct answers to specific questions.  Let's not forget this is the same dude who threw sequoia-sized shade at Senator Marco Rubio about the size of his hands as compared to the size of his "equipment" during an actual debate to win the Republican nomination.  However, I wouldn't be so shocked if your lady friend falls into the 39 percent of Americans who felt like Trump still won that debate because that's probably how she "debates".

Now if you ask most men, there is no point in arguing with any woman because we never win, but arguing with a Trump stumper means any rational point you attempt to make is a fruitless endeavor because she's on her Johnny Cochran "I'm not trying to be respectful, I'm trying to win" flow sans his level of intellectual savvy.  Whether it's cutting you off before you can say "wait a minute" or calling the size of your equipment into question when you thought there was no question about it, she's liable to play the dirtiest game of pool you've ever seen.  As for her deflect game, I wouldn't put it past her to be the type to super sock your momma for no good reason and when you ask why in the world she did it, she'll say, "You came out of her, so it's your fault why I stole her!"  Heck, based off of the last segment, her lack of respect for your right to have a difference of opinion and classifying it as "disruptive" could have you bobbing and weaving as she attempts to have you carried out on a stretcher.  Even if you "win" the argument and Satan is freezing his tail off, her level of poor sportsmanship will never allow her to admit she lost as she reels off a dismissive "oh, I let you win that one" remark or claims the argument was "rigged".  If you don't want to be the next brother who has to choose Bosley or is tempted to take the Ike Turner approach, then save your sanity and your follicles, avoid catching a charge and cut her off post-haste...

LYING AND GETTING OVER ON PEOPLE ARE PART OF HER MODUS OPERANDI.  In an October 19 ABC News report, they fact-checked 14 claims both candidates made on a meter of "True", "Mostly True", "Yes & No", "Mostly False" and "False".  Out of four of her claims, Secretary Clinton was "True" twice, "Yes & No" once and "False" once; simply put, she made truthful claims about 63 percent of the time.  On the other hand, Trump's report card was much worse: out of his eleven claims, he was "Mostly False" four times, "False" three times and "Yes & No" three times.  Basically, he's truthful about 21 percent of the time, which isn't the type of integrity needed to be a boss in any capacity let alone the Leader of the Free World.  When Secretary Clinton confronted him about not paying federal income taxes in the first presidential debate, he smugly responded, "That makes me smart."  Furthermore, he hasn't seemed to defend himself as vigorously when anyone has called him to the carpet about his unsavory business practices with minorities as he has regarding the recent sexual harassment allegations.  No matter what, The Donald is not a man to be trusted...and neither is your woman if she still votes for this dude.

As a continuation from the last segment, she will say anything and everything to win an argument, even if it means making up false claims 79 percent of the time or higher.  Whether it's about something as minuscule as breaking a dish or as serious as spending all of your savings, you're playing riverboat gambler with that 21 percent of the time when she might be telling the truth.  Moreover, I wouldn't look at her too crazy for being the type of person who has no issue with shamelessly avoiding responsibilities for which every American is held accountable, stepping on the backs of others to advance in her career, shading others to make herself look better or ignore the "No Cuts, No Buts, No Coconuts" rule during Black Friday and triple dog daring anybody to say something.  You saw what happened to Mario Van Peebles in Jaws II or Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea, right?  You're not built for those murky waters, so retreat to drier land and avoid being shark food, good brothers...

SHE'S DUMB AS A BRICK.  As evidenced from the last segment, part of Donald Trump's issue is not only his lack of truthfulness, but also his embarrassing propensity for cluelessness.  President Barack Obama battled a well-versed opponent in Mitt Romney to retain his seat as Commander-in-Chief, but Secretary Clinton has had the easiest path to assumed victory ever laid out for any post-primary presidential candidate in American history because Trump sounds like a blustering buffoon more often than not.  He believes everything he sees on the Internet simply because it's on the Internet without taking a common sense approach to fact checking before stepping foot on a debate stage with someone who should run even bigger circles around him than she has.  When he tries to talk foreign affairs, criminal justice reform or other social issues--the latter especially pertaining to "the Blacks" or "my African American(s)"--he is as ignorant as, if not more than, the "basket of deplorables" who bafflingly comprise at least half of his support base.  However, don't look now: you could be dating, marrying or have already hitched your wagon a beautiful fool.

With such few exceptions like Omarosa Manigault--which many of us understand why she's still riding with Trump--most of the women I've seen and heard cape up for Trump look and sound like they've either been drugged, hypnotized or learned their first polysyllabic term only yesterday.  Now analyze your own situation: ever had conversations among the two of you or with friends and family which only require a moderately informed opinion, but she either never contributes to the discussion at all or rarely brings anything meaningful to the table when she does?  Is she notorious for sharing Internet memes which either make absolutely no sense or she didn't verify before proudly and loudly sharing?  Let's keep this even simpler: if you told her it was chilly outside, would she respond with winter apparel or a bowl and some shredded cheddar?  If it's the latter, then you're in trouble, my man.  She's the type to believe in her man's "plan" to fly to the moon on hope and the wings of every remaining bald eagle strapped to his arms alone and not question one iota of his blueprint for failure.  Granted, if you're one of these Stone Age men who prefer their women to be seen and not heard, especially in public, then it's a moot point.  However, if you're cut from a cloth of an intelligent and beautiful woman being non-negotiable, then "intelligent woman" in the same sentence as "voting for Trump" resonates as a glaring oxymoron.

###

So since there are likely more men who have casted their votes for Donald Trump, why am I targeting the ladies?  Simple: The Donald has targeted the ladies he claims to love with his offensive, objectifying and disrespectful language.  Although he has categorically denied the recent rise of sexual harassment, discrimination and assault allegations against him, has anyone heard him even take a page out of Dr. Dre's book and offer up at least a general (albeit arguably disingenuous) apology to the women he's hurt and lambasted over the years or to the girls and young ladies exposed to this nonsense?  With all of the admitted exhibits on the table, neither should any woman in these United States of America claiming to be of sound mind and body still vote for Trump nor should any man claiming to be of sound mind and body still be with a woman who chooses to vote for Trump unless that man is also voting for him.  For those of you who are concerned more with down ballots and the future of this country, maybe your primary concern needs to be the future of your love life because your choice could be the difference in a woman you can trust with your bank account number and a woman who poops her boy shorts when you ask for a paternity test.  If you're reading this, it's not too late.  Vote down on that Trump Stumper...ASAPington.