RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS (Vol. 2, No. 2)

As a participant in nine total spelling bees, "obsessive" is an understatement.  Whether it's at work or on social media, it takes a lot out of me when people butcher words--especially when they have the correct spelling right in front of them and they still spell it wrong.  Heck, right before typing this intro, I was quoting a Kingpen Slim freestyle where he referenced Topanga from Boy Meets World and I verified it via Wikipedia before commenting instead of settling for an incorrect spelling.  Enter the person guilty of the spelling faux pas above.  Either they snuck this street sign past me recently or I have lived in this area for over three years now, passed this intersection hundreds of times and never noticed they added an extra "n" in "Briggs Chaney Road" until several months ago.  Yeah...I was so bothered by the mistake and pressed that I took a picture of it, but that's not the point.  While it's the only sign along a stretch of 5.7 miles spelled erroneously, they still made the mistake of not misspelling it closer to Cloverly where I didn't have to see it everyday.  Hence, I only have four words for you, dear sir or madam: you had one job.  Now on with the other nonsense...

THE INNER FAT BOY CHRONICLES, PART 1: HOW CLASSIC CARS STIR UP MY APPETITE.  Peep the first line in Chris O'Bryant post on Curbside Classics: "Vintage cars and classic tunes- they go together like burgers and milkshakes or pizza and beer."  Granted, he had a few more profound gems channeling 80s nostalgia in that introductory paragraph as he featured songs from Van Halen, ZZ Top, Bruce Springsteen, Mr. Mister, Aretha Franklin and LL Cool J.  However, the "indelible impression upon our psyche" classic cars have always left with me is the fantasy of the drive-in, especially since they were mostly phased out by the 1980s.  Specifically, the correlation made me want a juicy burger, some tasty fries and a Cookies 'N' Cream shake--even more specifically, I wanted Z-Burger.  To that last greedy guts of a point, I forget who said this years ago, but ever notice how many fast food chains use red and yellow in their color schemes?  Supposedly, those colors psychologically trigger our hunger and combining the paint job of the first classic car featured in the aforementioned post with Z-Burger's colors, it all makes sense.  While Z-Burger is not quite drive-in food and you won't see many '57 Studebaker Silver Hawks outside their doors, the taste and the vibe is close enough...

JAMES BROWN SAVES THE DAY, PART 1: HOW "THE BIG PAYBACK" DEFINED EN VOGUE'S CAREER.  If you don't believe lightning can strike twice in the same place, then  allow me to submit the production/songwriting duo of Denzil Foster & Thomas McElroy as Exhibit A.  Foster & McElroy a.k.a. Fmob began their hit making career with Timex Social Club's "Rumors", continued notably with Club Nouveau on their smash Life, Love & Pain album and were instrumental in signing and working with Tony! Toni! Tone! on their first two albums, Who? and The Revival.  Perhaps their biggest success came when they assembled the group "For You" before they became widely known as En Vogue.  Not deviating too much from the norm as it pertained to the New Jack Swing era of hip-hop and R&B, they sampled a piece of James Brown's classic "The Payback" in the quartet's out-of-the-gate smash hit, "Hold On"--rising to No. 1 and No. 2 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs and Hot 100 charts, respectively, in 1990.  Pulling from the most prominent guitar riff, Foster & McElroy came right back like they left something for the group's 1992 hit, "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)"--which achieved the same status on the R&B and pop charts as "Hold On".  Interestingly enough, "The Payback" was a No. 1 R&B hit and the Godfather of Soul's last big pop hit from 1974 until his death (No. 26) and last gold single.  I guess if you're gonna go to the well twice, that's the song to get it done...

ADVENTURES WITH MRS. SCRIBBLER AND THE YING YANG TWINS, PART 1: WHISTLE WHILE YOU TWERK?!?!  Intriguing segment title, I know.  So in the first of two conversations the Mrs. and I had about the Ying Yang Twins, we discussed their first notable hit which first popularized the term people seem to use like it's going out of style, "Whistle While You Twurk".  I forget whether or not she said this first or I did, but we both agreed on one major point of contention with the Twins' lewd and lascivious lyrics paying homage to gentlemen's club entrepreneurs who shake for the cake: how likely is it for her to "whistle" without having sex?  Being the geek I am, I stumbled upon a post by Lauren R.D. Fox on Madame Noire from last year where she says how vaginal farts, i.e., "whistling" or "queefing", happens when "trapped air is getting pushed out of your vagina" and can "get inside your vagina after completing exercises like squats, yoga or crunches", although it's usually during sex.  Considering that explanation and given the adeptly limber moves of which many strippers can exhibit at the drop of a few Benjamins, "making the p---y fart" while "twerking" doesn't seem so far-fetched after all.  I will say this as a random thought bonus: reading the word "yoga" in the same paragraph as "queefing" has me looking at Janelle Monae's "Yoga" with a smirk and a side eye...

ADVENTURES WITH MRS. SCRIBBLER AND THE YING YANG TWINS, PART 2: YOU DIDN'T ASK MY PERMISSION. The latter part of our final segment title brings us to perhaps an even more baffling song by Atlanta's dynamic duo of crunk rap via their 2005 smash hit, "Wait (The Whisper Song)".  Now when I first heard it, I wasn't thrown by what they were saying--which shows you where my mind was back then--but more so because they were whispering the entire song.  Setting another trend, the Twins put a different spin on "snap music" by combining less music and more drums (courtesy of longtime producer Mr. Collipark) with the most salacious invitations imaginable.  (See David Banner's "Play" and their own "Pull My Hair" as Exhibits B and C.)  However, a confused Mrs. Scribbler recently threw this curve ball in the game: "So it's implied the person wants to have sex once they see the penis!"  Never giving the lyrics as much thought until that query, I chuckled and replied, "I guess it is a bit of a flasher type of song!"  All things considered, I give you all two parting thoughts: 1) regardless of how creep-a-zoid of a song "Wait" is, it still cranks; and 2) my favorite line has always been "and I'm known to be a real nasty man".  Judge me all you want, but as long as I'm not pulling a Pee-Wee Herman, then whatevs.

Got your own side-eye worthy batch of randomness you wanna share, but had nowhere to share it?!?!  Then PLEASE drop one or a few of your own in the comments.  Be sure to come back soon for the next wild and crazy edition (and MAYBE less lewd and lascivious...and yes, that's one of my favorite terms in the whole wide world in case you haven't realized yet) of the incomparable "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!"