1350 Okie Doke Street: The Super Bowl Brick Quintet

When someone or something doesn't live up to the hype, it goes without saying how disappointing it can be--especially when it involves who or what you love at least 85 percent more than anyone or anything else in  the world.  As an avid football who has been alive for 38 of the 50 Super Bowls, I have seen some memorable games which either met or exceeded expectations--which I'll get into in our last post of the day.  However, because the Super Bowl has become one of several American pastimes as well as the premier sporting event, the scuttlebutt and endless discussions leading up to the big game has also meant a few duds have occurred.  So in true "1350 Okie Doke Street" fashion--and because I haven't done one of these since November--one of the best ways to celebrate Super Bowl Week with New Problem Tuesdays is to share five of the most disappointing Super Bowls I've ever seen.  Let's relive some of that trash talk which fell flat, bets which didn't work in your favor, pizza and beer from 2002 you're still trying to work off and those four hours of your life you wish you could get back--or more if you watched every pregame special like the bonafide fanatic you are...

#5 SUPER BOWL XXVII: DALLAS COWBOYS 52, BUFFALO BILLS 17.  Despite the Bills being six-and-a-half-point underdogs, maybe the reason why this Super Bowl was so disappointing was because of a bet...which I won.  (I promise it's about to make sense, so indulge me.)  As perhaps the biggest highlight of my eighth grade year, three of my classmates all believed in their heart of hearts not only would the K-Gun powered Bills beat the fully-loaded Cowboys, but they also foolishly assumed they would crush them.  Vehemently opposing this point of view, I took what many might consider a traitor's wager because I was a Skins fan at the time and bet on the arch nemesis of my favorite team.  While I wasn't hoping the Bills would win for my own selfish reasons, I did expect them to be much more competitive than they were; I mean, this was the same team who staged "The Comeback" against the Oilers four weeks prior to the Super Bowl.  Unfortunately, the Bills' high-powered offense who could beat anybody in the AFC couldn't do much against the NFL's No. 5 defense as Thurman Thomas managed only 19 yards the whole game (although he did score the game's first TD), Jim Kelly and Frank Reich combined for one TD and four INTs and the team set an NFL record for most turnovers in a Super Bowl (9).  Granted, I'm rarely upset about being right or winning a bet, but losing time is priceless...

#4 SUPER BOWL XVIII: LOS ANGELES RAIDERS 38, WASHINGTON REDSKINS 9.  Before the '98 Vikings, '07 Patriots, '11 Packers, '12 Patriots and '13 Broncos came along, the '83 Skins scored the most regular season points in NFL history (541), boasted the league's best record at 14-2 and were three-and-a-half-point favorites to beat the AFC's No. 1 seed at 12-4 who were no pushovers either.  In fact, they came into Tampa having scored an average of 34 points and winning by an average of 22 points in the AFC Divisional and Championship Rounds.  Given the close game the two best teams in the NFL had during the regular season when the Skins won 37-35 at RFK Stadium, the Raiders proved to be a formidable foe.  However, I wholeheartedly believe this game would've been close much like that contest...that is, had the Skins stayed their behinds in their hotel rooms instead of partying like it's 1999.  Maybe the defense would've had more energy to stop the elusive Marcus Allen, who torched them for 191 yards and two TDs including this legendary 74-yard TD run, and maybe the offense would've done more than one TD, one FG, 283 total yards and two turnovers, including a Jack Squirek pick six.  As the resident "97 percent Raiders fan", I'm not mad in hindsight, but as a kid, this hurt because they might as well have stayed at 2400 East Capitol Street instead of renting out a space here at 1350 Okie Doke Street...

#3 SUPER BOWL XLVIII: SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 43, DENVER BRONCOS 8.  Peyton Manning's second regular season with the Broncos was arguably his best as he surpassed Tom Brady twice in the record books with the most games in a season without an INT (four games) and the most TD passes in a season (55); set a season record with the most amount of games with four or more TD passes (9); and earned his fifth and final league MVP honor.  Not to mention the Broncos' overall offense was historic as they became the first team to eclipse 600 points in a season (606), had the most 50-point games in a season (3) and boasted four receivers with at least ten TD receptions.  Sounds like the potential for a scoring clinic in the Super Bowl, right?!?!  Well, touting the league's best defense who allowed the least amount of yards per game (273.6) and points per game (14.4) while notching the most takeaways (39), the 'Hawks clearly didn't get that memo or didn't care if they did get it.  The two-and-a-half-point underdogs (who actually began as a point-and-a-half favorite) took the league's best offense to the woodshed by forcing four turnovers (including two Manning INTs, one leading to a pick six for Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith) and chopped them down to a measly eight-point showing.  Not the game you expect to see for the first Super Bowl in your brand new apartment.  How's that old saying go..."offense wins games, defense wins championships"?  More on that later...

#2 SUPER BOWL XIX: SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 38, MIAMI DOLPHINS 16.  If you think there's a debate now about who's the best quarterback, then imagine what it was like in 1984.  At only 23, Marino broke single-season records for completions (362), passing yards (5,084), most games with at least 300 passing yards (9), most games with 400 passing yards (4), most TD passes (48), most games with at least four TD passes (6) and most consecutive games with at least four TD passes (4).  Basically, he was Peyton Manning before Peyton Manning shattered all of his marks.  However, what the more modest Montana had at his disposal over Marino was a more complete team with a better running game and a stronger defense who boasted four Pro Bowl starting DBs and those factors showed up in this game.  Montana not only had 331 yards, three TDs and no picks, but he also set a record for the most rushing yards by a QB in a Super Bowl at that time (59) as part of the Niners' 211 total rushing yards.  Meanwhile, Marino had 318 yards and one TD, but he threw two picks.  Yeah...that also sounds Manning-like in a big game.  Perhaps the most disappointing part was it was Marino's first and last appearance of his illustrious 17-year career while Joe Cool would win two more.  What Sports Illustrated billed as the "Super Shoot Out" was anything but that...

#1 SUPER BOWL 50: DENVER BRONCOS 24, CAROLINA PANTHERS 10.  Although this is the narrowest margin of victory between any two teams on this list, this is still the most disappointing for three reasons.  First, I wrote this long, drawn-out article explaining the historical, cultural and social significance of Cam Newton being in last year's big game.  I also defended his unapologetic histrionics for which critics--especially those of "fairer" skin tones--frequently took him to task.  However, going up against the NFL's No. 4 defense proved difficult as he contributed no touchdowns, was sacked six times and chipped in three of the team's four turnovers (one INT, two fumbles).  Second, the great Peyton Manning didn't do much better as his swan song was his most lackluster Super Bowl performance (13 of 23, 141 yards, one INT) and the only weapon in his arsenal who showed up was Emmanuel Sanders (six catches, 83 yards) while Demaryius Thomas was good for only one catch and eight yards.  Truthfully, C.J. Anderson was much more impressive on the ground with 23 carries, 90 yards and a TD.  Third, even more disappointing than Newton's performance was another instance of being a bit of a sore loser as his demeanor toward the press after the loss bordered on petulant.  Beyoncé's controversial halftime performance was the best thing about Super Bowl 50 by a landslide, but in the "golden anniversary" game itself, this meh-fest was more like double lint balls.

What Super Bowl(s) disappointed you the most?!?!  Please feel free to drop one or a few of your duds in the comments.  Don't forget to return next month for another exciting (and possibly infuriating) edition of "1350 Okie Doke Street"!!!