Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan, Part 1

In 2014, a BrainFall quiz titled "Which U.S. City Should You Live In" required answering questions about new restaurant openings, cost of living and favorite topics of discussion, and in my "You Should Live in Los Angeles" result, the summary read:

Perhaps best known for Hollywood, Los Angeles is the perfect place for aspiring artists.  There is no denying it's a playground for the stars, but even before you make your millions in the entertainment industry, you'll still be able to afford a bad-a** burrito.

Nearly three weeks later, I took a PlayBuzz quiz titled "Which American Accent Do You Actually Have" and having to pronounce words like "lawyer" or the trifecta of "Mary, merry and marry", I apparently have a Western accent.  Considering how folks never think I'm from D.C.--I've gotten New York and Philly the most--this explanation made sense of it all:

The west was the last area in the United States to be settled during the westward expansion of English-speaking people and it's full of linguistic patterns from other regions.  Your accent is general that no one knows exactly where you're from.  Your accent is perfect for public speaking, news broadcasting, acting, advertisements, etc.!

As I ponder the music, TV shows, fashion and even the weather toward which I've always gravitated, California has always seemed like the most perfect place on Earth and is the No. 1 state to visit on my bucket list.  Thus, despite being born and raised in Ward 8 D.C. and a fan of Washington's NFL team for the majority of my life, it only makes sense my AFC team (because most NFL fans have a favorite team from the opposite conference) since the mid to late 80s would be the Oakland/Los Angeles/back to Oakland Raiders...

Even before my mother purchased Tecmo Super Bowl for me and Big Little Brother Scribbler for Christmas in 1991, sports fans were served heavy dosages of football and baseball's equivalent of "The Human Highlight Film" in Bo Jackson.   Whether it was his sheer speed and athleticism from week to week or the way he trucked a bombastic Brian Bosworth, he became the most exciting player in sports not named Michael Jordan.  When I realized how heartbroken I was when 1) he suffered a career-ending hip injury in the 1990-91 Divisional Playoff game against the Bengals and 2) the Bills pummeled the Raiders 51-3 in the AFC Championship the following week, I knew my disappointment was more than bandwagon fandom.  Loaded with the likes of Marcus Allen, Tim Brown, "Swervin'" Mervyn Fernandez, Willie Gault, Howie Long and Terry McDaniel and coached by legendary offensive tackle Art Shell (who became the second Black head coach in the NFL), I often watched Raiders games with baited breath--well, the ones they'd actually air on the East Coast.  Enter TSB and most folks chose either the Oilers, Lions, Bills, 49ers or Raiders.  More often than not, I chose the Raiders because I could beat darn near anybody with them, losing few playoff games and winning quite a few Super Bowls with The Silver and Black.  Throw in the fact my first pieces of sports-related apparel in my teenage years were a Raiders Triple F.A.T. Goose down coat and a snapback and how they have the most kick-butt colors in pro football--sorry Cowboys fans--and it's a recipe for lifelong allegiance.

Even after many of those players left or retired, I stuck with the Raiders as my AFC squad.  Perennial Pro Bowlers like Tim Brown, Terry McDaniel and Steve Wisniewski hung around during some rough years with Mike White and Joe Bugel at head coach, but the arrivals of Darrell Russell and Charles Woodson on defense, the rejuvenated Rich Gannon on offense and Jon Gruden as head coach brought about hope for Raiders fans everywhere.  In fact, as a longtime Wolverines fan during a time when I followed college football closely--although I'm a slightly bigger fan of "The U", but only in football--I was excited about the Heisman-winning Woodson going to Oakland and knew he would be an instant impact player.  In fact, I never owned a football jersey before 1999, but when I went on my first jersey buying spree, among them were jerseys of cornerbacks from my two favorite teams: Darrell Green and Charles Woodson.  Woodson would go on to win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year, go to four straight Pro Bowls from the door out of nine altogether and five with Oakland (the last one in 2015 during his swan song season) and play an integral role in the Raiders being a controversial play away from facing their old L.A. neighbors in Super Bowl XXVI and getting to Super Bowl XXXVII the following season.

Unfortunately, the Super Bowl loser curse has been the harshest on the Raiders as a team who had the best offense and passing attack in the league with both Tim Brown and Jerry Rice suffered an embarrassing 48-21 loss to Jon Gruden's Bucs, who had the league's best overall and passing defense and were seemingly built to stop Gruden's old team.  Until this recent playoff berth, they had the second longest current playoff drought behind the Buffalo Bills and being a Raiders fan has meant suffering through players wanting out like Warren Sapp and Randy Moss; drafting woes like the biggest bust in NFL Draft history with JaMarcus Russell, the promising but injury-prone Darren McFadden or the inexplicable reach for Darrius Heyward-Bey; and ineffective coaching from the lack of player respect for Norv Turner, an unsuccessful retread with Art Shell, the Lane Kiffin debacle, the "Cable Guy" regime, the Hue Jackson one-shot deal to the forgettable Dennis Allen years.  For the longest time, I considered Oakland as one of three destinations "where good NFL careers go to die".

When my alter ego A.J. Throwback appeared in his second music video as a featured artist in 2015, I was the beneficiary of his style choice as the only hat which could complete a look with the Mt. Rushmore of Black Leaders T-shirt referenced here, black Levi's 501 jeans and black and white Aldo sneakers was naturally a Raiders snapback.  Traveling to the "'hood mall" to get it--namely Forest Village Park Mall a.k.a. Forestville Mall--he had a choice between the classic style associated with N.W.A. or one with the old Raiders logo and a gray brim with green underneath.  Naturally, he chose this Mitchell & Ness hat because it established his own style and maintained the essence of his moniker, but little did we know 1) how this would also mark the pledging of allegiance to a new squad and 2) how much of a conversation starter this one hat would be wherever we went.  One night at a sushi spot in Downtown Silver Spring, the hat drew in a fellow Raiders fan who came down from Pennsylvania for his son's baseball tournament as two complete strangers ended up getting hammered like old drinking buddies for decades.  Another night while leaving Hooters in Chinatown D.C. a few months ago, I had a Cowboys show love when he saw the hat and I returned that love since Dem Boyz are actually doing good this season--and y'all know it pained me to do that.  Unlike being a Skins fan, I don't have any haters when I rock this hat or admit I'm a Raiders fan as it is always love.

So since I've finally claimed a new team after defecting from Hogs Haven in 2011 and after four years of telling everyone "I'm just an NFL fan now", then why am I only a 97 percent Raiders fan and is it even possible to be anything but 100 percent cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over one team?  Now I might dislike the other AFC West teams because they aren't the Raiders, but I don't hate or despise any of them; in fact, the only team I might strongly dislike are the Broncos, but that has more to do with how they and the media slighted Doug Williams and the Skins leading up to Super Bowl XXII before receiving a 42-10 slice of humble pie.  Here's even more honesty: although the Raiders have always been my No. 1 AFC team, the Houston Oilers were my other AFC team, especially during the "Run and Shoot" era with Warren Moon, Ernest Givens, Haywood Jeffries, Drew Hill, Curtis Duncan and Tony Jones.  Once Moon and the crew were long gone, Steve McNair and Eddie George came along, the team moved to Tennessee to become the Titans and I still showed them love.  However, whenever the Raiders and the Oilers/Titans have played each other, I am always on the side of The Silver and Black no matter how good or bad they were.

What complicates my fandom is if you metaphorically cut me open to see which colors I bleed more of, there's still a strong hint of Burgundy and Gold in that stream.  In fact, considering the 38-9 "Black Sunday" beatdown the Los Angeles Raiders administered to the Skins in Super Bowl XVIII, the Raiders should be one of the last teams for whom I cheer.  However, although the Skins set NFL regular-season records for most points in a season (541) and turnover margin (+43) as well as boasting the top-ranked run defense, their biggest mistake was partying way too hard the night before instead of being as rested as possible to stop Marcus Allen--who ran wild for 20 carries, 191 yards and two TDs, including the most infamous 74-yard TD run in NFL history--or putting up more points than Mark Moseley's 24-yard FG and John Riggins' TD run.  Including Super Bowl XVIII, Oakland leads the all-time series against Washington, 8-5.  Here's the biggest monkey wrench of all: the Raiders have to travel to FedEx Field next season to play the Skins and I don't know if my new allegiance is strong enough to overtake my old one.  Nevertheless, given how strongly I came out against Dan Snyder, the team sticking with a controversial name and their racist history, I kinda have to be all in with Raider Nation.  With that said, I can't promise you I won't be a little hurt if we beat my former team...

The love fest for The Silver and Black isn't over yet!  Please come back next week for Part 2 of "Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan" when I discuss the connection between my Raiders fandom and cultural and social influences.  In the meantime, for fellow citizens of Raider Nation--especially those who aren't from Oakland or L.A.--please feel free to talk about what made you a Raiders fan!