"You Can Only Have ONE Best Friend"...Says Who???

In the "Chapter 6: The Monster" episode of Netflix's Stranger Things, Mike (Finn Wolfhard) and Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo) talk about jealousy within friendship after Mike and Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin) get into an altercation over Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown):

Dustin: "He's your best friend, right?"Mike: "Yeah...I mean, I don't know."Dustin: "It's fine, I get it.  I didn't get here until the fourth grade, he had the advantage of living next door, but none of that matters.  What matters is that he's your best friend and then this girl shows up and starts living in your basement and all you ever wanna do is pay attention to her--"Mike: "That's not true!"Dustin: "Yes it is...and you know it, he knows it, but no one ever says anything until you both start punching and yelling at each other like goblins with intelligence scores of zero.  Now everything's weird."Mike: "He's not my best friend."Dustin (laughs): "Yeah right."Mike: "I mean, he is, but so are you and so is Will."Dustin: "You can't have more than one best friend."Mike: "Says who?"Dustin: "Says logic."Mike: "Well, I call bull on your logic 'cause you're my best friend, too."Dustin (smiling): "Okay."

The interesting thing about this dialogue is none of these characters are older than twelve years old, but this dialogue is representative of the often immature logic people take when it comes to someone being considered a "best friend" and how many we're supposedly allowed to have.  While the memes found in this Google search are hilarious and entertaining, this is merely indicative of the comedic ideology where jokes have a significant level of seriousness to them.  So in another myth busting edition of "Says Who???", I attempt to debunk the assumption you can only have one best friend...

Maybe it's because I struggled making friends before high school, which has contributed greatly to my introverted inclinations.  Maybe I'm not naturally a jealous person except in a few rare cases.   Maybe I realize I'm not the Alpha and Omega of best friends who's a plug-and-play guy for every situation.  I'm not the friend to call to shoot folks in the face in Call of Duty and I might entertain gallivanting at somebody's entertainment convention in cosplay, but only if you spot me a few shots of Jameson first.  Maybe I realize my friends are going to meet awesome people in life other than me and maybe I know I'll do the same.  Basically, if someone I've called my best friend introduces someone else to me as their best friend, then I'm hardly offended.  In fact, when I went away to college, one of my best friends ended up with a new best friend and I was happy for him because the brother is hella cool--although part of the reason was because he had somebody else to harass with his random two-minute conversations.  I'll admit there were times when he showed emphatic support to his new best friend with similar endeavors in ways he rarely did with me and it stung a little bit, but despite the occasional slight, jealousy never came into play because I don't believe in exercising monopolies on people.

However, I understand most people aren't like me and are often threatened by "outsiders".  Maybe you and your new bestie have a certain set of inside jokes only the two of you understand.  Maybe y'all hang places where your original bestie wouldn't think twice to set foot.  Maybe y'all have more interests in common or live similar lifestyles and can relate to each other better because of those factors whereas you and your old road dawg tend to speak Amharic and Mandarin, respectively.  Maybe two or more of your best friends have no issue with or tolerate each other for your sake, but the likelihood of them becoming bosom buddies in the foreseeable future is considerably low.  Maybe your original best friend looks at friendship like a competition based upon leveraging in lieu of an honor rooted and grounded in love.  Regardless of the reason(s), many people get in their feelings when someone has two or more best friends in someone's life because it's the societally accepted assumption that "best" automatically equates to "one and only" in every instance.  I've had both male and female best friends of mine become envious when I'd hang out or get on three-way calls with my other best friend(s) without them as if being one of my best friends makes them a shoe-in to get along with my other best friend(s).  If all of us are fans of the Skins and The Simpsons or equally value lyricism and production in hip-hop, then it's easy for a person who doesn't fall into those categories to feel like the outsider instead of vice versa.  Bottom line, as much as people can get along with each other, everybody ain't meant for everybody.

If you still don't want to believe by this point, then allow me to use sports as a bargaining chip.  In every league, bonafide pundits and armchair experts alike will debate who the best player is currently and/or all-time.  The absolute value of a "there can only be one" argument is a little more plausible, but even then, it's hard to agree on one because it's a matter of relative and often biased opinion.  However, although expanding to the discussion of the best team still suggests "the one and only", another way to look at it is the best combination of different styles and personalities under one philosophy.  A team is the best team because they have maximized the talents of some of the league's best players which best fits their system.  Even if that team has the league's consensus best player on it, he or she is only as good as his or her supporting cast as they have to be the best at what they bring to the table to elevate the effectiveness of the superstar.  Ask Michael Jordan before Scottie Pippen and Phil Jackson arrived.  Ask LeBron James when the Spurs swept his Cavs in '07.  Ask Dan Marino who desperately needed a better running game and defense to beat the likes of Joe Montana who had both or even Jim Kelly when the rival Bills went to the Super Bowl four straight years.  You are only at your best when you have as many people at their best around you; hence, one bestie is cool, but two or more besties can enhance you even more.

Much like my views on multiple best friends, my criteria for a best friend is not extremely complicated.  If we can comfortably cry on each other's shoulders but turn around and laugh as if it's going out of style, then that qualifies.  If we can be brutally honest with each other without either intending to draw blood with our words or acting like a shark if blood happens to leak in the waters of vulnerability, then that also qualifies.  If everyone else buys us gift cards for our birthdays but we either purchase specialized and often inexpensive gifts or simply show up to the party and exponentially elevate the vibe, then there's a chance.  A best friend of mine is not required to call or hang around me every single day because I realize people have jobs, careers, hobbies, significant others, children and overall lives to live.  However, a best friend is someone who has my best interest at heart as much as I have theirs in mine and whose intent is always to be there in good and bad times, whether they're physically able to be there or not.  Besides, if somebody is truly my best friend, I should be able to go months without seeing or hearing from them and the feeling of reconnection is like we've only been out of contact for a day.

As I close, let me be clear: I am not telling anyone how to feel if their best friend comes strolling in with a new best friend.  I will not act like people don't get new best friends and start acting as brand new as their relationships with these strangers who seem to be way too Joe too soon.  However, the notion you can only have one best friend is frankly ridiculous.  I have multiple best friends who all know I have multiple best friends and, despite minor and short-lived backlash from one or two folks, everybody respects how I get down because I don't treat any one of my best friends better or worse than the other; I love them all differently, but I love them all equally and would run through a brick wall for any of them if I had the strength and density of The Incredible Hulk combined with K.I.T.T.'s ability to drive through reinforced concrete.  (Can't you see me at Comic-Con as your bestie even a little bit?!?!)  Besides, if a bunch of pre-teens can live with that, then adults need to do better at adulting and concur with it as well because contrary to popular belief, best friend hoarding has never been and will never be cute.