RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!! (Vol. 1, No. 6)

There are days when I feel like I've betrayed the legacy of Rosa Parks, Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., Ralph Abernathy and everyone who participated in the year-long Montgomery bus boycott.  As much hell as Parks endured for sitting at the front of the bus and as much walking as the boycott participants did in lieu of financially supporting the Montgomery City Lines, I should at least sit in a spot halfway between the front and the back, right?  Well, ever since I've been catching the Metrobus, my inclination has been to either sit at one of the window seats or in the middle seat at the very back of the bus.  The reasons have varied between looking out the rear window of the old school GMC "Fishbowl" and Flxible "New Look" buses, having more space to sit on the five-seat row because passengers often don't sit between people and (perhaps the most noble reason of all) leaving the seats closer to the front for the elderly, the disabled, women to have first dibs.  No matter the reason, I usually don't feel but so bad because I fully exercise my right and my choice to sit at the back of the bus in lieu of being ordered to sit there, and that's what gives me confidence that Ms. Parks isn't turning in her grave.  Now that I've given the most introspective and serious intro to a "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!" post ever, let's have some fun, shall we...

ADVENTURES IN ADVERTISING, PART 1: THIS BUD'S FOR WHO?!?!  So one of the most overrated, over-advertised beers in the world is at it again.  Recently, Budweiser came out with their "America Commercial" that begins with a person banging a beer can with "America" emblazoned across the can and the Budweiser factory sign lighting up as if to suggest that either the company is what keeps America going, Americans keep it going or both.  Here's what trips me out though...in the scene where people are pledging allegiance, the person in the foreground is a Black woman in a head wrap.  A few seconds later, a bunch of people who appear to be of different backgrounds are walking up a street arm-in-arm, later featuring a close-up of two hands of contrasting colors holding.  Now as much as I appreciate what Budweiser is trying to do during a time of division and social unrest, this is the million dollar question for me: how many Black people actually drink Budweiser and like it?  Where they at doe?!?!  All of the sud-sipping Black folk I know sip Coronas, Heinekens, Yuenglings and Blue Moons, but nobody likes Budweiser, Bud Light or any variation; in fact, I'd rather drink Steel Reserve 211 or Olde English 800 than drink Budweiser--and that's bad.  During a spring break in my junior year of college, I was hanging with one of my homies and his boys at the Howard Plaza Towers on Howard University's campus one night.  Supposedly, there was this new thing where people, mainly women, would put Kool-Aid in Budweiser to make it taste better.  This is when the phrase "tried-it" is applicable and perfectly explained because I tried it and I hated it.  Memo to Anheuser-Busch: if you want to unite America over beer, try Coronas next time.  That Bud ain't never been for me, slim...

ADVENTURES IN ADVERTISING, PART 2: WHEN STD CHECKS AND A PLAY ON WORDS GO LEFT.  As you all know, I'm an avid hip-hop fan and I moonlight as a lyricist from time to time, so I'm a sucker for good wordplay.  However, a flip on one-time presidential hopeful and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders' unofficial slogan and hashtag is making traction for perhaps all the wrong reasons.  Coming home from work one night (while probably writing one of these lovely posts), I saw the ad to the right on a totally different bus from FreeSTDCheck.org.  The brother sitting next to me was in the middle of unsuccessfully rapping to this chick, looked up at the sign, looked at me and we both shook our heads while smirking in unison like, "That's sooooo wrong!"  Talk about something being infectious--and yes, that pun was intended.  If that isn't enough, they have more advertisements like turning "Netflix & Chill" into "Get Tested and Chill" or transforming the Pokemon Go lettering into "We Catch Them All!"  Don't get me wrong, this is a cute and clever way to champion safe sex practices and getting tested for STDs because it uses familiar images to draw the consumer's attention.   Still, I feel for that person riding the Z8 who looks up at the ad, holds their head in immediate shame and says to themselves, "That's not the burn that I wanted to feel."

MISSING IN ACTION.  Losing childhood and teenage icons is tough.  The irony of Aaliyah's "I Miss You" is that she's singing those words, but everybody in the video was missing her after her untimely passing in 2001.  When Left Eye died exactly eight months later, I couldn't take watching TLC videos without her because she gave that trio so much of its edge and personality.  However, it was the thought of Puff Daddy & The Family's "Been Around the World" video that bothered me the most because it never seemed right.  One of my favorite rappers of all time, The Notorious B.I.G., was the prominent voice in the chorus, but he wasn't in the video due to his killing months before the release of the video.  I always assumed that Biggie would be around to make more music, but after 2Pac's shooting and eventual demise, many of us still weren't prepared for Biggie's passing.  Although Aaliyah's death bothered me more because 1) she's the only deceased celebrity who I met in person and 2) we were the same age, not seeing Biggie in videos anymore was even more unsettling.  Nothing made me feel like "man, Biggie is really gone and he's not coming back" more than "Sky's the Limit".  It's hard for me to watch that video or listen to that song to this day because it was the last single from Life After Death and I remember that feeling of finality as if it happened yesterday.  Nevertheless, despite those bittersweet moments that come and go any time that I listen to Biggie or watch those videos, I'm thankful for his legacy in hip-hop and that Francis M.H. went out on top like the King of New York should...

AND THE AWARD FOR SPELLING BEE REJECT OF THE WEEK GOES TO...shady people who are phonetically challenged.   I wish that I had the transcript from this post last month in this Facebook group that I'm in with other DJs, emcees, singers and producers, but I'll give you all a brief synopsis.  So the discussion was about who was the more skilled lyricist between Joe Budden and Fabolous, and this one guy excoriated someone else in the group over their opinion.  The problem was that half of his insult was terrible grammar and even worse spelling.  He's not the only offender that I've ever seen do this where every other word in the insult was jacked up like my bottom teeth.  Now I'm gonna say this about that or anyone who has the nerve to memorialize their shade on social media: don't come for somebody if you can't spell or understand the difference between "they're", "their" and "there"--especially in the presence of someone who spent the latter six of elementary school learning how to spell words like "chassepot".  Like seriously...did you think those red squiggly lines under all of those words were spelling suggestions?  They're there for a reason, slugger.  (See what I did there?)  So the next time that anybody has the bright idea to belittle someone or go on some kind of rant on social media, you might want to talk to yourself like Featherstone from Necessary Roughness: "Spell check is my friend...spell check is my friend...spell check is my friend..."

I know y'all have them...come on and be a sport...join the Random Revolution and share those silly thoughts, good people!  Don't forget to come back soon for the next edition of the often-quirky, always-off-the-wall "RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS!!!"