RANDOM THOUGHT ALERTS (Vol. 2, No. 2)

As a participant in nine total spelling bees, "obsessive" is an understatement.  Whether it's at work or on social media, it takes a lot out of me when people butcher words--especially when they have the correct spelling right in front of them and they still spell it wrong.  Heck, right before typing this intro, I was quoting a Kingpen Slim freestyle where he referenced Topanga from Boy Meets World and I verified it via Wikipedia before commenting instead of settling for an incorrect spelling.  Enter the person guilty of the spelling faux pas above.  Either they snuck this street sign past me recently or I have lived in this area for over three years now, passed this intersection hundreds of times and never noticed they added an extra "n" in "Briggs Chaney Road" until several months ago.  Yeah...I was so bothered by the mistake and pressed that I took a picture of it, but that's not the point.  While it's the only sign along a stretch of 5.7 miles spelled erroneously, they still made the mistake of not misspelling it closer to Cloverly where I didn't have to see it everyday.  Hence, I only have four words for you, dear sir or madam: you had one job.  Now on with the other nonsense...

Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan, Part 3

Unless you've been living under a rock or you've been more focused on Agent Orange becoming POTUS, you know Raiders majority owner Mark Davis officially filed relocation papers to move the storied franchise from Oakland to Las Vegas by 2020.  Although they have been my AFC team for most of my life, neither am I from the state of California nor have I ever been there; thus, I shouldn't be affected by this move, right?  Not exactly.  Even when the Raiders moved to Los Angeles for thirteen seasons between 1982 and 1994, they were still in Cali--a state which has its own mystique up and down its picturesque coast.  Moving the team to a place like Vegas might seem like the sexy pick, but as I contend in this third and final part of "Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan", the appeal only stretches but so far--even for a Raiders fan from the D.C. area...

Views from the Nosebleeds: 2016 NFL Conference Championships

Sans the second half of Divisional Round Weekend, the 2016-17 NFL Playoffs haven't been competitive.  However, in case you're like me and have been disappointed with many of these weak showings, perhaps the beginning of this edition of "Views from the Nosebleeds" will cheer you up as one guy has been the playoffs' saving grace.  For back-to-back weekends, saxophonist Mike Phillips performed his National "Saxthem" version of "The Star Spangled Banner" at the Georgia Dome, which I'm convinced gave the Falcons even more motivation to beat both visiting teams handily.  Not only were both renditions the best instrumental versions of the National Anthem performed at sporting events I've ever heard, but let me tell it, Phillips has turned two of the most memorable versions since the late, great Whitney Houston's stirring performance before Super Bowl XXV.  Granted, nobody compares to The Voice--I got goosebumps listening to it as I was typing this--but he showed up and showed off like few have done since '91.  Alas, since this isn't a music post, I guess we can talk about these beatdowns now...

"You Can Only Have ONE Best Friend"...Says Who???

In the "Chapter 6: The Monster" episode of Netflix's Stranger Things, Mike (Finn Wolfhard) and Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo) talk about jealousy within friendship after Mike and Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin) get into an altercation over Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown):

Dustin: "He's your best friend, right?"Mike: "Yeah...I mean, I don't know."Dustin: "It's fine, I get it.  I didn't get here until the fourth grade, he had the advantage of living next door, but none of that matters.  What matters is that he's your best friend and then this girl shows up and starts living in your basement and all you ever wanna do is pay attention to her--"Mike: "That's not true!"Dustin: "Yes it is...and you know it, he knows it, but no one ever says anything until you both start punching and yelling at each other like goblins with intelligence scores of zero.  Now everything's weird."Mike: "He's not my best friend."Dustin (laughs): "Yeah right."Mike: "I mean, he is, but so are you and so is Will."Dustin: "You can't have more than one best friend."Mike: "Says who?"Dustin: "Says logic."Mike: "Well, I call bull on your logic 'cause you're my best friend, too."Dustin (smiling): "Okay."

The interesting thing about this dialogue is none of these characters are older than twelve years old, but this dialogue is representative of the often immature logic people take when it comes to someone being considered a "best friend" and how many we're supposedly allowed to have.  While the memes found in this Google search are hilarious and entertaining, this is merely indicative of the comedic ideology where jokes have a significant level of seriousness to them.  So in another myth busting edition of "Says Who???", I attempt to debunk the assumption you can only have one best friend...

Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan, Part 2

As explained in Part 1, part of what drives my love for the Oakland/Los Angeles Raiders is my subconscious infatuation with California.  However, my conscious decision to make the Raiders my AFC team ran even deeper than Tecmo Super Bowl, fierce team colors or the love for anything Compton native Kendrick Lamar laid out in "The Recipe".  From a social and political standpoint, neither Oakland nor Los Angeles have not been kind to people of color, especially in regards to police brutality.  The Black Panther Party, who were formed in Oakland in 1966, served as enforcers of justice specifically for Black and Brown people around the country against systemic racism despite perceived and actual controversy.  Although I've never seen any of them in Raiders paraphernalia, they wore all black as a sign of solidarity and empowerment.  So in Part 2 of "Dirk Scribbler's Guide to Being a 97 Percent Raiders Fan", I dig deeper than football to speak about how the Raiders became the inadvertent symbol of a new era which included yours truly...