If you rode behind a truck which said "Follow me to your perfect paint color" on your way out of town, what would be your first set of thoughts? Well, as I inadvertently followed this True Value tractor trailer on I-495 through the wonderful city of Wilmington, Delaware, my vivid imagination took a dark turn. Instead of perhaps some jovial gentleman being armed with paintball gear and taking you to the time of your life--which I literally thought as I began typing this intro--it's some poor soul with an axe to grind with both his company as well as his wife who he believes is cheating on him because he's always on the road. You decide to follow him without knowing his rig is actually a front for his paint bootlegging business. He leads you down a secluded alley in a sketchy neighborhood to meet a few unsavory characters. While the deal is going down, your inability to be incognito in life-or-death situations spells your demise as you are spotted by the truck driver. He thinks it's a setup, pulls out a pistol and shoots in your direction. If you didn't high tail it out of there like you were playing Need for Speed, then you would've found out the "perfect color" he was leading you to was crimson. Moral of the story (and with my DIRECTV voice-over narrator swagger): don't follow anyone to your perfect paint color. Get the Sherwin Williams app instead. Now that you're creeped out, let's fly into some safer havens...
