Singing Out of Tune: The Blunder Years

On the latest edition of the His & Hers podcast hosted by ESPN's Michael Smith and Jemele Hill, they discussed Golden State Warriors' shooting guard & small forward Klay Thompson, who was fined $35,000 for being one of the escalators in the February 26th "brawl" between the Warriors and the Indiana Pacers.  Consequently, his father Mychal Thompson--the No. 1 overall draft pick for the Portland Trail Blazers in 1978 and two-time NBA champion with the Los Angeles Lakers in 1987 and 1988--docked him pay out of his "allowance" for his involvement...mind you, that "allowance" comes from Klay's money that he makes as an NBA player.  The Thompson parents literally hand their young adult son an envelope full of spending money once a week.  Wild, right? Jemele Hill seemed to think so and had this to say:

On one end...I don't have kids and I don't wanna sit up here and tell somebody how to raise their child, but the keyword here is that he's not a child.  He's 23 years old, and of course, we know the numerous stories of athletes going broke and the bad decisions they make.  But c'mon, your parents cannot be controlling your money at 23.

She later stated that a woman dating a guy like that might think twice because she doesn't know how much his parents would be involved in other areas of his life. Point well taken. In response, Michael Smith also had raised eyebrows, but had the following revelation:

...But then I got to thinking about it like, 'Absolutely!'  What's wrong with having [people], especially a guy who's been in the NBA who understands the trappings and the temptation and the pitfalls?  What's wrong with having your parents control your money, other than getting the side-eye from people like you [Jemele] and I'm sure getting teased by his teammates?  They have your best interest in mind...how many times do you hear about athletes being taken advantage of...getting duped into poor investments or...just mismanaging their finances?  The more I think about it, it's kinda smart actually.

My initial reaction was closer to the overall reaction of Jemele Hill, who wouldn't "co-sign" her co-host.  However, I couldn't agree with Michael Smith more about this, who admitted that he was controlling his own money at 23 "and probably doing a bad job of it quite honestly" and confessed how his wife largely oversees his financial decisions because he is more of the spender.  In fact, I'd take this entire argument a step further.  Since young Klay is in what I call "The Blunder Years", this is the prime time of his adult life that he still needs the most direction from his parents.

What the heck are "The Blunder Years"?  They're between the ages of 21 and 25, particularly for college graduates.  Parents often worry about their children being more defiant during their teenage years, but teenagers don't have the same upper hand of a young adult because he or she can say "I'm grown" and mean it.  This particular period means new responsibilities, but it also means new liberties.  Guess who can legally purchase and consume alcohol?  Guess who can rent from many car rental companies if they don't have their own vehicle?  Guess who doesn't need to get fake IDs for the good clubs and stay out all night long without a curfew or the threat of being grounded?  Guess who more than likely has a good-paying job at this point of their life and can do whatever with their money?  Guess who probably has at least 2-3 credit cards and think they can shop 'til they drop?  That's right...these young whippersnappers who aren't so young anymore and who will quickly get on their Kanye West "you can't tell me nothin'" ish.  I know many parents of young men and women presently in their Blunder Years who are more fed up with their sons and daughters than they ever have been, and I believe the frustration comes from the assumption that they should know better by now.  That's not entirely true when adulthood and everything that it entails is new to them.

Now many of you think I'm this super stand-up dude, and those who really know me are familiar with "Mama Scribbler" being the secondary reason for my maturity--God being the primary reason, of course.  Despite being more flippant than my mom cared for, I did everything else possible to make life easier for a mother that largely raised us on her own.  However, the freedom of college life led to the development of numerous douche-bag tendencies.  I made a significant amount of money for most of the five years that I lived with my mom after graduation.  I could afford to go on road trips to New York, take women out on dates, get hotel rooms when I wanted to do my dirt away from the house (although I ashamedly did dirt in the house one time too many), buy clothes, and occasionally cover the bill for entire tables at restaurants.  It was a blue moon for me to cry "broke" when I had three out of my first four jobs.  However, my mother often asked me to pick up more juice from the store--especially because I was the main consumer--but I'd be so lazy and thoughtless about it because I knew that she'd end up doing it anyway.  I only had to pay her but so much every time I got paid, but I could've easily paid her more on GP alone.  She had to twist my arm to cook every once in a while, to wash a fork or a cup in lieu of leaving it in the sink overnight, and help with chores around the house.  No, I wasn't defiant in the sense of literally saying "I ain't doing jack", but my actions did the talking for me.  Also, during my Blunder Years, I was "sewing my wild oats" the most--especially at Klay's age.  I went to the most parties, consumed the most alcohol, smoked the most marijuana and had sex with the most amount of women that I ever have.  Not to mention the obvious...on a spiritual level, I probably went to church a grand total of three times--one time included my grandmother's funeral--and didn't have much of a relationship with the Lord.  Basically, my highest level of often wanton disregard for anything and anyone was during my Blunder Years.

This is why someone of Klay Thompson's age group should have extra parental guidance and protection during The Blunder Years: you are susceptible to making asinine decisions that you pay for later.  Financially, I could've very well followed in the footsteps of our chief of staff at my first job, who was smart enough to save $10,000 towards his first house.  At the very least, I could've saved for my own apartment sooner and put myself in a better position to get my first house around 26--the age when I finally moved out of my mother's house.  Nope...my simple behind spent unnecessary amounts of money that prevented me from not only having my own place, but saving in general.  Additionally, when spending my own money wasn't even enough, I ran up my credit cards--although I typically used them for things like fixing my car.  As much money as I spent, I have nothing to show for it now except debt and a bigger CD collection--and I had to sell many of those after quitting my first job for health reasons.  Speaking of which, being inconsistent with exercise routines, possessing a gluttonous appetite on my many food excursions, having an erratic sleep schedule, and occasionally drinking excessively aided the eventual onset of migraines and calcium stones.  I often wonder why I've gone through so many unnecessary struggles, but I realize that I could've saved myself so much heartache--and money--by being smarter during my Blunder Years.

An important thing to note about "The Blunder Years" and why I call them that is because it's the last period of adulthood where you're likely to receive a significant amount of "allowances".  Perfect segue back to young Klay...before the infamous "brawl", he was suspended for his final regular season game at Washington State University after receiving a criminal citation for marijuana possession.  Mind you, he had turned 21 years old almost a month prior.  Talk about entering The Blunder Years on a high, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the trigger for more parental oversight beyond college.  Fast forward to the brawl, he, teammate Stephen Curry, and Lance Stephenson of the Pacers were all fined $35,000 for escalating the incident--all coincidentally in their Blunder Years.  These two occurrences exemplify a lack of better judgment--one that could've dropped his draft stock lower than 11th overall in 2011, and another that lightened his wallet and brought attention to the fact that he doesn't fully control what's in that wallet.  Now some may think that because his father spoke out by referring to his middle son as an "idiot" and docking him, that's not giving Klay a pass.  However, the seemingly overprotective nature is on one hand teaching Klay a lesson about responsibility and how your actions can adversely affect your livelihood.  On the other hand, it can read, "We're being like this with you because we understand that although you're technically an adult, you're still young and feeling out who you are as a man."  No, they're not turning the other cheek whatsoever, but he's being shielded from himself because his behavior is somewhat understandable and excusable at 23.

However, there is a potential downside to being reckless during one's Blunder Years and receiving the wrong kind of passes in the process: one can end up permanently suffering from "Forever 21 Syndrome".  This is the widely understood chain of how a person develops over time: thoughts, words, actions, habits, character, destiny.  If a person has no intention on changing the way they think between the ages of 21 and 25, then they could be that 35 or 40-year-old "man" or "woman" still getting locked up, partying like it's 1999 (and they were born between '74 and '78), screwing everything walking with emotions, or in the streets fighting like it's still cool.  By that point though, they'll be dubbed as an "old fool", or as we call people at my job, "repeat offenders".  Not saying that with enough misfortune and learned lessons that a person cannot recover from their Blunder Years if they stretch those years too long, but it's a serious uphill battle if you're not already in the process of renewing your mindset by 25.  Ask someone like Adam "Pac-Man" Jones--whom the Dallas Cowboys released in 2009 at the tail end of his Blunder Years--how hard that journey was.  He was about to be 27 when the Cincinnati Bengals decided to give him another chance in 2010.  A seemingly changed man, he is now someone who speaks to rookies at symposiums, taking genuine fault for his highly publicized mishaps and advising young players how to get a better grip on their personal life.

There is no guarantee that the unique brand of oversight that Klay Thompson's parents exercise will prevent him from making more catastrophic mistakes.  It is not written in stone that Mychal Thompson's chastising of his middle son will always be received with open arms.  (Maybe the whole middle child thing is another reason why Mr. Thompson has Klay so guarded.)  Klay still has a little less than two years left in his Blunder Years phase.  Heck, he could simply rebel against his parents for "meddling" in his affairs so closely.  However, I wholeheartedly believe in Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  I understand where Jemele Hill is coming from because he is technically no longer a child, but he is a young adult with fairly new responsibilities and his youth could be his undoing without direction.  From agents to lawyers to accountants, athletes pay people to protect their investments and those people come along at the beginning of what could be their Blunder Years.  Why not have somebody in your corner who has already experienced the difficulties of being an NBA player and can advise you better than any stranger can?  True, we often see how "money and blood don't mix like two d*cks and no b*tch" outside of the crack game as the late great Notorious B.I.G. experienced, but there are instances where it works because of the high level of trust among family members.  My mother did an outstanding job of raising me, but I wouldn't have been mad if she oversaw my finances, handed me envelopes of spending money, and tucked away the rest for rainy days.  Lord knows that I'm just starting to leave the eye of my personal typhoon.